Never Forget That Y’all’s Bum-Ass President Threw Paper Towels at Puerto Ricans and Didn’t Even Buy Bounty

CBS News screenshot
CBS News screenshot

Although pictures can say thousands—and sometimes millions—of words, when I saw the image yesterday of the president of the United States of America tossing paper towels at storm-ravaged citizens of Puerto Rico days after lobbing insults at San Juan’s mayor and calling them (in separate tweets) lazy and entitled and unworthy of aid because they’re in debt, only three immediately came to mind: Fuck this nigga.


After staring at it again, I thought of five more: Y’all’s president is a thot.

And then, after cleaning my glasses this morning, I came up with eight more: His bitch ass couldn’t even spring for Bounty?

Later, I drank some orange juice, got ambitious—felt a little froggy—and added 16: Why the fuck is he tossing weak-ass 0.75-ply Coke Zero-ass paper at them?

After lunch, those 16 expanded to 59: Seriously, what the fuck does he expect them to do with this analog paper? Stuff it into bras? Make pillows for mosquitoes? These people just survived a hurricane, and this fool-ass nigga’s way to help them is to ... help them make spitballs?

Eventually, after I looked at the picture again before attaching it to this piece, the words were distilled back down to two: Fuck him.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)



The immediate thought that comes to mind after watching this bullshit is that he didn’t want to touch brown people.

For any other human being, I would dismiss that thought as needlessly paranoid. However, given that this is Trump, the thought deserves consideration.