Donald Trump is the kind of man who wants credit for everything.
Did you breathe this morning? Donald Trump did that. Did the light turn green just as you got to the intersection? Donald Trump did that. Is something that was put into place while another man was president still successful? It doesn’t matter—Donald Trump did that too.
He is a boastful braggart and a liar, and we all know it. It’s just who he is as a man. He’s fake rich. Fake smart. He (likely) has fake hair and a (fake) trophy wife. He’s the “president” of the United States, and, well, we all know how that went down. Basically, he’s a dumb, fake liar with a mouth that looks like an anus.
And he’s constantly spewing out bullshit. Go figure.
In his latest ongoing rap battle with a decorated war veteran and former senator who has been dead for seven months now, Trump has spent considerable time disparaging and besmirching the memory and legacy of John McCain.
Don’t get me wrong; I am no fan of McCain, but if you had to compare my dislike for McCain to my dislike for Trump, I am going to tell Donald Trump to shut the fuck up every single chance I get. That’s just how it is. Fuck that guy.
So, yes. Trump has been letting his Twitter fingers fly—as he is known to do—and last Saturday he wrote that not only was McCain responsible for “spreading the fake and totally discredited” (he wishes) (pee pee) dossier, but that McCain also voted against repealing Obamacare.
This resulted in Meghan McCain clapping back in defense of her father, telling Trump on Twitter that “No one will ever love you the way they loved my father.” Then she hit him with the white girl version of “get you some business” and told him to spend his Saturday with his family “instead of on Twitter obsessing over mine.”
I’m no fan of Meghan McCain either, because if we are keeping it real, shut up, Meghan McCain. But as far as clapbacks go, that was a loud one.
It didn’t, however, stop your president from pursing the two pieces of the ashy balloon knot on his face together to spiel more hate toward McCain.
As BuzzFeed reports, during a speech in Lima, Ohio, on Wednesday, Trump told people that he “never liked” McCain much.
“Not my kind of guy, but some people like him, and I think that’s great,” Trump said, before going on and taking credit for McCain’s funeral at Washington’s National Cathedral—a funeral that his dumbass wasn’t even invited to. Imagine that.
“I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted—which, as president, I had to approve,” Trump lied. “I don’t care about this, I didn’t get thank-you, that’s okay.”
“We sent him on the way,” he added, “but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”
On Thursday, the National Cathedral caught wind of what Trump said, and in a most epic display of “man, if you don’t shut your lying ass up” ever, they issued a statement to BuzzFeed News in which they firmly and politely cleared up any misconception that Trump would have had anything to do with McCain’s funeral service taking place there.
A cathedral spokesperson wrote the following:
Washington National Cathedral was honored to host the funeral service for Senator John McCain. All funerals and memorial services at the Cathedral are organized by the family of the deceased.
Only a state funeral for a former president involves consultation with government officials. No funeral at the Cathedral requires the approval of the president or any other government official.
In other words, stop lying, booty-hole mouth. You ain’t had shit to do with shit.