Illustration for article titled Narcissist-In-Chief Canceled the Coronavirus Press Briefing. Then Remembered There Were Cameras, So It’s Back On
Photo: OLIVIER DOULIERY (Getty Images)

Trump hates the media, unless they love him, and then he loves them back.

So on Monday, with disinfectant-gate still a thing and the collective mouth full of four usable teeth that is Trump voters realizing that even they can’t get behind his idiotic suggestion that shooting up Lysol would help kill the coronavirus, Trump went ballistic on these tweet streets.

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“There has never been, in the history of our Country, a more vicious or hostile Lamestream Media than there is right now, even in the midst of a National Emergency, the Invisible Enemy!” Trump tweeted Monday morning, the Hill reports.

And if you’ve not been keeping up, basically Trump is Kim Kardashian and the media is Kourtney; watch below:

Somewhere in their scuffle is the president’s push for bringing light inside the body and mainlining disinfectant, and because the president is petty and was thoroughly ridiculed over the weekend for his nonsensical comments during Thursday coronavirus briefing, Trump canceled a briefing that was scheduled for Monday and replaced it with a “news conference in the Rose Garden during which Trump is expected to deliver an update on testing guidance,” the Hill reports.

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I’m assuming it went something like this:

Trump: I’m not going out there!

Trump Adviser Hope Hicks: What if I can get the kitchen to make you your favorite drink?!

Trump: But we don’t have any more pig marrow?

Hicks: *reaches into her purse and pulls out a bloody trash bag* We do now!

Press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who has done nothing since taking a role in Trump’s administration, is apparently going to do something—wait, nope, she’s still not doing anything but she did note that the president will have some “announcements about safely opening up America again” and this was done via Twitter, which has become this administration’s preferred method of communication. So she tweeted. There is that. I’ve added the tweet for all you doubters that say that McEnany doesn’t do anything.

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McEnany’s tweet came just hours after an appearance on Fox News—I know that you guys are going to say that an appearance on Fox News means she did two things today but she didn’t. Fox News is literally inside the White House basement and you don’t get any points for walking into the basement and talking into your toilet—in which she noted that the press conference was off.

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Look I can’t go through all of this, even for you guys, because it’s making my head hurt. Here is the story, the president is a narcissist who couldn’t stand being off-camera and he held out long enough for his personal adviser to bring in fresh pig marrow, crushed Oreo and zoo dirt smoothie.

The news conference is set to begin at 5 p.m. ET.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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