Naomi Campbell’s Lavish Kenyan Villa Just Called Me Broke AF

Naomi Campbell in her Malindi, Kenya Villa for the May Issue of Architectural Digest.
Naomi Campbell in her Malindi, Kenya Villa for the May Issue of Architectural Digest.
Screenshot: YouTube/Architectural Digest

Oftentimes, I wonder about the kinda stuff I’d buy if I was insanely rich.

Maybe I’d buy a horse. I’ve always loved horses.

Maybe a lifetime supply of Popeyes. I do, in fact, love that chicken.

Or maybe I’d finally get my mother that island I’d always been promising to buy her ever since I was a teen. (Don’t ask me where, all I know is it has to have a lot of palm trees.)

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No matter what sorts of arguably ridiculous things popped up in my head over the years, I can assure that a lavish villa in Malindi, Kenya has never been on my list—until now. And I have Naomi Campbell to blame for it. I’ll explain.

You see, Architectural Digest, the definitive design magazine dedicated to giving me home envy with every glossy pic, recently got the chance to go inside Campbell’s luxury villa in Malindi, Kenya and let’s just say—laid doesn’t even begin to describe it. I mean, I ain’t never seen no MTV Cribs episode that looked like this.

In the opening of the tour, Campbell welcomes you into her living room, which is decked out in all Kenyan artifacts and locally-sourced “workmanship” from various Kenyan designers and artists.

“Everything is under a makuti roof so everything is open” she explained. I don’t even know what a “makuti” is but it sounds expensive AF. (Adds to list)

She then takes us outside where she showcases one of four pools (yes, four beautifully blue pools) and then back inside where she takes us inside one of the rooms on the main floor. This room, like the many others you’ll see, come complete with wooden beams on the ceiling, Kenyan art and masterful woodwork in every nook and cranny.

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“We have air conditioning, I don’t personally sleep in air conditioning. It gives wrinkles, I believe,” she adds. Are you serious?? (Adds “house with no air conditioning to list.)

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Next, she takes us upstairs to the open chill and gaming area that spans across the entire floor. She explains that one of the things she loves about this place is that everyone has a corner to do their own thing and nobody feels like they have to be together. This sentiment pops up again by the time we get to her buffet breakfast area outside, which leads me to believe that Naomi is as much of an introverted extrovert as I am. And that brings me joy.

Moving on, we saunter into that outside breakfast area that looks like an entire cabana in the middle of the Maldives, but it’s in the middle of the motherland so that automatically makes it 10 times better.

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“One again we’re under a makuti roof,” she says. Oop, that’s twice now. It really must be expensive.

The rest of the tour covers her main pool area, new houses (which are basically mini-homes complete with four rooms and kitchenette), a spa, and finally her room.

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“Kenya is such a natural gem,” Campbell explains. “It has safari, it has the bush, it has the coast, it has the dunes. It has all the elements and people don’t realize that. I’m like ‘I’m on the Indian Ocean.’ Love the Atlantic, but the Indian is better.”

I know that’s right! Well folks, if you didn’t know, now you know. To peep more of Naomi’s lavish digs, be sure to check out the May issue of Architectural Digest.

DISCUSSION

p5nyc
p5nyc

In my teens-twenties-thirties I had really intended to marry Naomi Campbell. (I mean, I would also now except for, you know, my wife and family.) But it wasn’t just because she is beautiful and cool and fabulously wealthy and with incredible taste — it was the person inside.

Sometimes I think I should have just done it. I’m not sure why I didn’t. The follies of youth. I should have married Naomi Campbell -- but you know, you’re young, you want to be free, no woman is good enough, it’s not you it’s me.... I just wasn’t ready. Lesson learned!