Illustration for article titled Nancy Pelosi Throws Stimulus Package-Sized Shade at President, Calls Trump ‘Morbidly Obese’
Photo: OLIVIER DOULIERY (Getty Images)

Imagine a world in which the president claims to take medicine and no one believes him. Imagine a world in which the medicine the president claims to be taking could potentially be deadly yet he won’t stop lying about taking it. Imagine a world in which that same president eats tons of McDonald’s and doesn’t order french fries. And even if you imagined this world, it would still pale in comparison to the bizzaro one we are living in, where the president claimed to be taking hydroxychloroquine and literally no one believes him.

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On Monday, Trump just randomly spouted during a press conference that he’s been taking the malaria drug as a preventative measure against the coronavirus. Even the Food and Drug Administration has warned against this idea and it is merely the regulatory body around bad drug ideas. When asked what evidence he has for ingesting a drug that has shown very little promise in preventing the coronavirus, the president had literally nothing convincing to say.

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“Here’s my evidence: I get a lot of positive calls about it,” Trump said, the Hill reports. “So far, I seem to be OK.”

Later the same day, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) was asked about the president taking hydroxychloroquine as a potential treatment for coronavirus, and she took her chance to throw all the shade in Shady Farms the president’s way.

“I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group, morbidly obese, they say,” Pelosi said during an appearance on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360.

“So, I think that it’s not a good idea,” she said.

How both Pelosi and Cooper kept straight faces is beyond me. Maybe they are just more professional than I will ever be, but all I heard was Pelosi calling a man who lies about his weight morbidly obese and I lost it.

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Trump’s doctor claims he’s around 243, the hosts over at Morning Joe believe he’s closer to 300 pounds, but either way Trump knows that a fat tie hides all. Fat Man Poop has repeatedly claimed that hydroxychloroquine is a game changer and even purchased a Florida-sized swimming pool full of the drug to add to the American stockpile of shit we don’t need. Currently, there are 400,000 Flowbee haircutting machines and 100,000 Skip Its also in this stockpile.

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) also doesn’t believe Trump’s taking this shit and called his decision reckless.

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“I know him saying he is taking it, whether he is or not, is reckless, reckless, reckless. It gives people false hope, has people avoid real medical attention, and can actually cause them trouble. It is just dangerous what he did,” Schumer said on MSNBC.

Just last month, the FDA warned that no one should be taking this drug outside “of a hospital or a clinical trial due to the risk of heart rhythm problems.”

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Yet somehow, Trump and the president’s physician came to the brilliant conclusion that the president should be taking the drug as a preventative measure (except he’s totally not taking the drug.)

“In consultation with our inter-agency partners and subject matter experts around the country, I continue to monitor the myriad studies investigating potential COVID-19 therapies, and I anticipate employing the same shared medical decision making based on the evidence at hand in the future,” wrote presidential physician Sean Conley, who is either an idiot or a liar.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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