Photo: iStock

Look, I get it. Once you get the munchies one too many times, you just can’t stand by and watch it eat away at your funds anymore. You can only spend so many hundreds of dollars on Steak-umms and apple pies.

Maybe that’s why 23-year-old Florida-Man-of-the-Week Anthony Andrew Gallagher allegedly tried to pay for his McDonald’s with a bag of weed.

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According to the Associated Press, the McDonald’s employee declined the offer (must have been reggie), after which Gallagher drove off without paying. The employee then called the police, which had nothing better to do than chase someone with a bag of weed over the cost of, let’s be honest, what could have been a few McDonald’s meals worth—maybe like $10, who knows?

“Y’all fools ain’t fucking up my register today,” the cashier said in my imagined version of the events because I can’t wrap my head around giving enough of a fuck to call this into the police. Maybe there was an undercover narc working at McDonald’s that day.

Anyway, then this fool Andrew went back to the same McDonald’s. Which, to be fair—I probably still would have been hungry, too. Don’t ask me why I’m so confident about that when I have no idea how much he actually ate.

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From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

“Police found approximately 11 grams of marijuana on the suspect,” the department said. “The suspect told police that he did offer marijuana in exchange for food, but that he did so as a joke.”

So I guess he wasn’t about to pay them either way! Great joke, weed guy. Maybe he came back to pay, but police said they smelled marijuana in the car and arrested him. No McFlurries for you, Andrew—just kidding, the ice cream machine was down anyway.

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From one of the shadiest comments I’ve ever seen from the AP:

It’s unclear if Gallagher attempted to pay for his order with drugs the second time. It’s also unclear if he has a lawyer.

As per usual with Florida-involved foolishness: I’m mad at everybody. And I want an apple pie now. God dammit.