Michael Cohen Is Singing Like 1970s Anita Baker, Claims Trump Knew About 2016 Russia Meeting

Illustration for article titled Michael Cohen Is Singing Like 1970s Anita Baker, Claims Trump Knew About 2016 Russia Meeting
Photo: Yana Paskova (Getty Images)

So back in the good ole days of 2016, Barack Obama was still in office and Donald Trump was an obnoxious, xenophobe who didn’t look like he had a Kardashians’ chance at CurlFest.


Trump’s dumbest son—not Eric, the other one that isn’t Ivanka—was super pumped for a meeting with a Russian who claimed to have dirt on Trump’s rival and favorite Twitter mention, Hillary Clinton. Trump claimed that he had nothing to do with any meeting. He also claimed that he wasn’t there and didn’t know anything about the meeting, which was also attended by Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort, who was Trump’s campaign chairman at the time.

Well, speed up to now: Donald Trump Jr. is still an idiot, Kushner is laying low and trying to hold onto what little security clearance he has left and Manafort is in custody. Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and personal fixer, who just happens to know where all the bodies are buried, is belting out 1970s Baker ballad featuring funk band Chapter 8, “I Just Wanna Be Your Girl.”

Cohen is now claiming that Trump knew about the 2016 meeting in Trump Tower and he’s willing to sing this tune to special counsel Robert Muller, who is currently investing the daylights out Russian collusion in the 2016 election, CNN reports.

CNN notes that Cohen claims he was there with a bunch of Trump’s lackeys when Trump was informed about the meeting and Trump gave the men the go ahead. If Cohen’s claims are true, then that means that Trump, his son Not-Ivanka, Kushner and Manafort all lied about Trump’s involvement and knowledge of the Russian meeting.

Here’s the problem though: Cohen is also a lying ass liar. In 2017, CNN notes that Cohen testified last year privately in front of two “Congressional committees investigating Russian interference in the 2016 election” and claimed then that Trump had no knowledge of the meeting. Cohen also doesn’t have any recordings or actual proof that Trump knew beforehand, but he’s willing to give his word (whatever that’s worth) that Trump knew of the meeting and gave the OK.

“He’s been lying all week, he’s been lying for years,” Rudy Giuliani, the president’s attorney, told Chris Cuomo on CNN’s Cuomo Prime Time on Thursday night.


He added, “I don’t see how he’s got any credibility.”

Giuliani isn’t wrong here. Knowing that Trump is a liar and Cohen was the liar’s lawyer, who do you believe when there is no evidence? It’s a tough one.


Giuliani added that Cohen is “the kind of witness that can really destroy your whole case” and called Cohen, who was a top Trump Organization attorney for a decade, a “pathological liar.”

The pathological liar trait was probably what drew Trump to Cohen...KFC birds of a feather and all.


It will be interesting to see how this all plays out but I’m really hoping that Cohen closes the show with either “Giving You the Best That I’ve Got” or “Caught Up in the Rapture.”

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Babylon System

All of this (white) mans friends and relatives have MANY connections to Russia, yet he still gets to claim HE knows nothing, over and over. (no collusion!?)

Has a secret 2 hour meeting with putin (no collusion!?)

Keeps talking about his love for putin. (no collusion!?)

Has conveniently stopped announcing calls from foreign governments. (no collusion!?)

it’s like reality and common sense went out the door in 2016.