Man, We Ain’t Ever Going to Get Another Stimulus Check

Illustration for article titled Man, We Ain’t Ever Going to Get Another Stimulus Check
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

First, there were talks and then the talks were off. Then there were talks about the talks and then those talks were off. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Pelosi’s $3.4 trillion coronavirus proposal was too high. Then Republicans slapped together some bullshit bill that ol’ turkey neck McConnell, with his Mitch-ass, was pushing but it was way too low. And then the talks were off again. Then the election happened and then Trump started lying and then the talks took a back seat to it all.

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Now, Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) believe that the $3.4 trillion Health and Economic Recovery Omnibus Emergency Solutions (HEROES) Act, the same one passed by House Democrats back in May, should serve as a “starting point” with Senate Republicans on a new round of coronavirus relief legislation, the Hill reports.

Unless Stacey Abrams can continue the Herculean task of flipping both Georgia Senate seats in the runoff in January, we are fucked, and all I hear is “we may never see another stimulus dollar again unless President-elect Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris Venmo that shit straight to our accounts.”

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“The HEROES Act should be the starting point, not an emaciated bill that prioritizes protections for corporations and considers the needs of American families as an afterthought,” Schumer told reporters at a joint press conference with Pelosi, the Hill reports.

“The HEROES Act, passed in the House, does meet this moment. It doesn’t pick and choose who we’re going to help during the greatest health and economic crisis in decades,” he argued.

When asked if Democratic leaders had a new game plan, because, you know, the old one titled HEROES ACT didn’t work with this Republican Senate, Pelosi said passing the HEROES ACT has always been the goal.

“It has been our position all along to crush the virus, honor our heroes, put money in the pockets of the American people,” she said.

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All that shit sounds nice, but imaginary money doesn’t spend. Trust me, I’ve tried. But tell me more, Pelosi, about what you’ve sent to President-elect Biden.

“What Joe Biden got in this election was a mandate, a mandate to address the challenges that our country faces as well as to have a positive initiative on how to grow the economy in a fair way and in order to do that we must address the pandemic,” she said.

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The Hill notes that before the election, “Pelosi and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin were talking about a potential deal between $1.8 trillion and $2.2 trillion.”

But much like the Washington Football Team before it, the talks failed and nobody scored.

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Schumer seems to think that not having Trump in the White House does wonders for their position. Apparently, he forgot about ol’ turkey neck.

“The biggest change since Election Day is that Donald Trump, who is not for helping us in COVID and who is against the HEROES bill, has lost,” Schumer said. “So yes, we think there has been a change. It should move things in our direction.”

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He went on to call the election “more a referendum on who can handle COVID well than anything else,” the Hill reports.

“The Donald Trump approach was repudiated, the Joe Biden approach was embraced,” Schumer said.

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Unless Abrams can flip Georgia, we ain’t getting no stimulus money.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

So instead of putting the face of Mitch McConnell up there you put Nancy Pelosi like it is her fault. Then again over 70 million white folks decided that things were hunky dory and needed to stay that way. I mean Taneshi Coates said it best white people would rather be white than free. The Senate ain’t done shit for you all in 8 years but try and take your healthcare and enrich the 1% but no you blind as a bat fuckers keep on swearing that they will do right by you. Unreal.