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Screenshot: Umar Johnson (Instagram)

They’re both doctors, so they definitely know what’s going on.

Also, why does this mayonnaise licker keep calling me racist names?

MAGA: Jesus Christ revealed himself to Alex Jones, Jerry Falwell Jr., Rush Limbaugh and the prophets at Fox News.


But, if we’re being honest, Nostradamus predicted it, way back in 1551!

Image for article titled MAGA vs. Hotep: The Coronavirus Conspiracy Theory Battle
Screenshot: Facebook

Round 7: Who Benefits From This?

HOTEP: Most people don’t overstand that we are the original Gods of the Universe and these Yacubians were created by an evil scientist who was hiding in a cave.


MAGA: The global elite lizard people who have royal bloodlines and that bitch Carole Baskin! And Bill Gates. He creates pandemics so he can create vaccines that allow him to practice unlicensed medicine on the negra children like Jerome over here.

Round 8: How Can You Fight Back?

HOTEP: First of all, I’m about to slap this devil if he keeps talking shit.

Secondly, I don’t have to fight it because my melanin protects me from coronavirus. But if you get it (because you are light-skinned with weak melanin), you just have to drink some alkaline water with lemon juice. Make sure you sage everything in your house to cleanse the spirit of corona out.


MAGA: Don’t wear a mask. Have coronavirus parties. Hair dryer up your nose. A fuckit bucket filled with PBR and some shit on a shingle and a little transistor radio playing “I Saw a Tiger.”

Round 9: Do You Have Any Evidence? 

HOTEP: I’ve been doing all of my research on YouTube. There’s a whole book that was written in 1981 but they changed the name in recent versions because they don’t want you to know. Plus, my wife has been revealing many of their secrets. Also, Behold a Pale Horse, but ignore like a third of that book because I don’t fuck with aliens.


MAGA: Unlike the uneducated coon, I’ve been doing my research in places with real information—Facebook. Hidden in Hillary’s emails is the fact that we abolished the coronavirus in 2009. I also saw the mass graves FEMA was digging and found out Tom Hanks was arrested with Oprah for running a pedophile ring. He never even had COVID-19!

That’s what happens when you run with the negroes.

Round 10: What Is Wrong With Taking a Vaccine?

HOTEP: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, You believe that “vaccine bullshit?”

Bruh, all they’re trying to do is extract the melanin from your skin (pdf) so they can create synthetic melanin. Then, they’re gonna harvest your organs!


MAGA: There is no vaccine and there won’t be. See, I was talking to Harvey over at the old Chevy plant and he told me that his sister’s husband who is their brother once had a contracting job near NASA, and this is all ploy to put tracking devices in our dicks.

Bonus Round: Last Thoughts

HOTEP: Yes, I like to acknowledge the person who taught me many of this information, my wife, the honorable Tomi Lahren.



MAGA: Hey, that’s my daughter!

And Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.