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Lord Sayeth: Jeffrey Lord Is a Village Idiot, but That’s Exactly How CNN Likes It

Jeffrey Lord and Bernie Sanders’ former presidential-campaign press secretary, Symone D. Sanders (CNN screenshot)
Jeffrey Lord and Bernie Sanders’ former presidential-campaign press secretary, Symone D. Sanders (CNN screenshot)

Jeffrey Lord has the distinct honor of being one of the dumbest people on cable news. Considering all of the simpletons currently soiling the media landscape with their stupidity, that’s no easy feat.


Last week Lord made headlines for declaring President Sweet Potato Saddam to be the “Martin Luther King Jr. of health care”:

What does that mean, exactly? Not a damn thing, but in Lord’s mind, which sits alongside those of the other members of the lightweight division of thinkers, he clearly thought he was saying something profound or “provocative.” Fellow CNN contributor, and former press secretary for Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign, Symone D. Sanders immediately pointed out the idiocy behind Lord’s assertion, but naturally, Lord remained tightly nestled with his nonsense.


So much so that when called to appear on CNN Tonight after the controversial (read: offensive, sophomoric) segment, Lord continued to annoy black people—including Don Lemon—with his ridiculous comparison:

Do you know how foolish you have to be to rile up Don Lemon on a matter that doesn’t involve sagging pants or some black person in Harlem not picking up trash? Although it was nice to see Lemon let Lord have it in a rightful display of disgust, none of last week’s actions have stopped Lord from being himself.

Indeed, Lord has continued to be dim on CNN, to the strong irritation of his black co-workers. On Monday he appeared on a CNN panel alongside former Bill Clinton aide Keith Boykin and CNN’s Chris Cillizza to discuss why 45 won’t release his tax returns. To Lord, considering that income taxes weren’t a thing until 1913, “that means every president from Woodrow Wilson to Lyndon Johnson hasn’t released their tax returns.”

A visibly annoyed Boykin responded with: “Jeffrey, this is 2017; why are you going back to Woodrow Wilson? That has no relevance to what we’re talking about today.”

Lord soon asked if Boykin released his tax returns when he worked in the White House. “That’s the dumbest question I’ve heard anybody ask on television,” Boykin said. “You call yourself a political commentator; you’re asking stupid questions like that?”


On Tuesday, Lord once again went toe-to-toe with Sanders about the issue of 45’s taxes. Sanders was sensible and Lord was everything but, which led to Sanders calling him a hypocrite and Lord clinging to his lies and false equivalences. Crossfire may no longer be on the network, but that verbal jousting this network loves so much lingers on—all to the benefit of the likes of Lord.

To quote my beloved Future, “You do what you want when you poppin’.” Lord has every reason to continue carrying on in this fashion. To his credit, being a buffoon has netted him a cushy contract with a major news outlet. Moreover, he’s been complained about in media for quite some time now.


In “Trumpite Jeffrey Lord Continues Making Mockery of CNN Programming,” the Washington Post’s Erik Wemple described Lord as “a guy determined to drag red herrings across CNN transcripts.”

In “CNN’s Humiliation as Jeffrey Lord Makes a Mockery Out of Their Election Night Coverage,” Huffington Post writer John Amato complained about a specific segment that aired on the network, arguing that its “coverage was hijacked by a paid partisan who is either consciously disruptive, or else is just plain crazy.” Amato added that CNN has “no business putting him on [the] network, and his fellow-panel members should refuse to appear with him ever again.”


Clearly that hasn’t happened, though it’s not the fault of the other paid contributors.

The higher-ups at CNN pay Jeffrey Lord to be Jeffrey Lord. Lord and many of the other nitwits who defend 45 on the network with arguments that bear no resemblance to reason, fact or basic knowledge of U.S. history, the political climate or the correct color of the sky are encouraged to be this way. Because they know it will rile up their more informed guests—especially those who are black and will understandably find themselves frustrated by the racially insensitive remarks they are so often met with. And when they get riled up, those clips go viral and bring the network greater attention.


It’s The Real Housewives of Cable News format, and Jeffrey Lord is Sonja Morgan three-bottles-of-pinot grigio-copped-at-CVS later. They’re not going to get rid of him until audiences look away. Sadly, that probably won’t come soon enough. To that end, if you enjoy watching for what it is, have at it.

However, if you’re like me and appreciate actual news, I’ll see you elsewhere.

Michael Arceneaux is the author of "I Can't Date Jesus," which will be released July 24, 2018 by Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, but go ahead and pre-order it now.

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Just a question. Does Lord walk down the street with a portrait of Reagan attached to his right shoulder?