Kirstjen Nielsen Out as Homeland Security Secretary Amid Reports That She Wasn't Willing to Break All the Laws

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Kirstjen Nielsen, the woman with the worst spelled first name in the Trump administration, resigned as Homeland Security secretary on Sunday, evoking the famous tenant from the apostle Smokey, “You’ve got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.”


“I have determined that it is the right time for me to step aside,” Nielsen said in a resignation letter, The New York Times reports. “I hope that the next secretary will have the support of Congress and the courts in fixing the laws which have impeded our ability to fully secure America’s borders and which have contributed to discord in our nation’s discourse.”

That’s the passive aggressive way of saying that I hope Congress realizes that there is a maniac at the helm and joins in trying to make sure that this egomaniacal white supremacist adheres to the laws of the goddamn nation.

According to the Times, Nielsen was often on the other end of earlier morning calls from the president pushing her to do all kinds of illegal shit that she wasn’t comfortable with because her moral compass only stops at stealing children and locking them in cages.

The president called Ms. Nielsen at home early in the mornings to demand that she take action to stop migrants from entering the country, including doing things that were clearly illegal, such as blocking all migrants from seeking asylum. She repeatedly noted the limitations imposed on her department by federal laws, court settlements and international obligations.

But the president wasn’t trying to hear it because after watching Game of Thrones, Trump has fashioned himself as Don Snow and believes that immigrants are pouring into the country and he’s got to hold them off using only his rolled Forbes magazine.


Apparently Trump’s been upset with Nielsen for her inability to hold off migrants at the border. The meeting Sunday, requested by Nielsen, was supposed to be an attempt to look at “a way forward” in dealing with the non-influx of migrants at the border. Well, that went to shit as Nielsen’s submitted her resignation at the end of the 30-minute meeting, which wasn’t supposed to end in her leaving the administration.

According to the Times, Trump asked Nielsen “to close the ports of entry along the border and to stop accepting asylum seekers, which Ms. Nielsen found ineffective and inappropriate.”


Because Trump doesn’t understand what he’s doing and has been reluctant to learn, he’s president-ing has basically been a two-pronged approach that consists of:

1. Here’s what I want to do (which at times may be illegal, and faces some resistance).


2. Bring me someone who will do what I want.

So as 2020 approaches and with no major victories to hang his red racist hat on, Trump is looking to turn up his anti-immigration message to galvanize his base. Expect Trump to go full “build the wall!” from now until the election, and don’t be surprised if the already sadistic migration children separation program at the border becomes far worse.


weapon-a the first try suffers no trolls man... Steve... I’mma let you finish, but I really wish people would stop repeating this: “...So as 2020 approaches and with no major victories to hang his red racist hat on...”

Even if we ignore all the damage Trump has caused with his general insanity, he has likely caused even more with the record number of judges he has appointed to the bench. These judges, in key positions, will be Federalist Society retroviruses, popping up every once in a while to cause us terrible problems. And they’ll be there for at least a generation.

By some metrics, Trump has been tremendously successful.

Bigly even.