It took a tattoo, an obnoxious level of social media posturing, and British boxer Tommy Fury’s withdrawal from his scheduled bout with court jester Jake Paul, but Tyron Woodley is finally getting the rematch he’s been begging for.
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In August, Woodley took the L of the century when one of the biggest idiots in the history of modern mankind handed him a split-decision defeat during his pay-per-view bout with Paul.
“I feel like I won the fight,” Woodley griped afterward. “I feel like Jake is a great opponent. I came in great shape because I knew he could take a punch. No disrespect, but fuck the [Tommy] Fury fight, Jake and I can run it back. Nobody is going to sell a PPV like we did. I felt like he was tough. I hit him and the ropes held him up.”
Okay, then.
In the ensuing months afterward, the YouTube phenom has repeatedly taunted the former UFC champion all while refusing to grant Woodley’s wish for a rematch. But when 22-year-old Tommy Fury, Paul’s next opponent, unexpectedly withdrew from their Dec. 18 bout due to a “severe chest infection and broken rib,” there was only one challenger who made sense as a replacement.
“It is official: Tommy Fury is boxing’s biggest bitch,” Paul taunted in a video clip posted on his Twitter account. “He fumbled the biggest bag of his life. Now he’ll be watching at home, paying me $60, instead of getting paid millions of dollars to fight me. [...] The good news is Mr. Tyron Woodley, we called him up and we were like, ‘Hey, do you wanna take the fight?’ He has been training. He was like, ‘Sure, I’ll take the fight. Let’s do the rematch. Run it back.’”
So here we are.
Now where things get interesting is that the obnoxious 24-year-old is apparently fed up with people believing that he has clauses in his fights that prohibit his opponents from knocking him out.
“There’s rumors going around that everyone sort of has come to believe that my fights are rigged or I don’t allow my opponents to knock me out in the contract,” he said on The MMA Hour. “It’s just not true. It’s completely bullshit.”
So in his efforts to dispel that myth, the undefeated idiot revealed that if Woodley can knock him out, he’ll be rewarded with a handsome $500,000 bounty.
“Of course all these people are going to do is try to discredit me. Because when you’re at the top, that’s what happens,” Paul said. “I just want to nip the rumors in the [bud] and give my opponent—contractually, I’m giving Tyron an extra $500,000 if he can knock me out. It just nips the rumors in the [bud] and shows people that all of my fights have been real, are real, and will continue to be real.”
And what does Paul’s 39-year-old opponent have to say about this lucrative clause?
“No doubt, no controversy, no bullshit, no shenanigans,” Woodley snarled during a recent Instagram Live video. “He’s going to fucking sleep. I promise you that.”
Cha-Ching! I sure as hell hope so.
Avenge your dignity on Dec. 18 and get your money, Black man.
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