I tape a lot of weight-loss related shows and news clips to help stay motivated, but they're starting to really add up. I taped Kirstie Alley's Big Life when it debuted last week, but I only got midway through the first show – when she was out back in a cage with some monkey things (lemurs? I dunno), planning what to wear on New Year's. It had an interesting vibe.
And I taped last Sunday's Ruby, but haven't seen that either.
Is it just me, or is TV pigging out on fat shows? It's like the cause célèbre of 2010. Not that I mind. Good or bad, for me it keeps these issues front-of-mind, makes me less likely to backslide. And yes, I've backslid a bit, but I figure I have one more week to make it up before I have to let everyone know what I've lost to date. (Let's just say now would be a good time to start a religious fast. Kidding.)
One show I always tape is The Dr. Oz Show, and wanted to share his "10 Weight-Loss Commandments." Hope he doesn't mind. Guess we'll find out if he does. Either way, I thought they were pretty funny. And just for the record? I'm guilty of NINE.
1. Thou Shalt Not Wear Pants that Stretch
Your clothing is an early-warning system for weight gain. When it's getting hard to snap your jeans, you know it's time to be vigilant. Wearing stretchy clothes allows you to live in ignorance of how your body is growing, making it easier to pack on pounds without knowing it.
2. Thou Shalt Not Keep Bad Clothes in Your Closet
When you keep the clothes you wore at an unhealthy weight, it gives you a back-up plan if the pounds don't come off. Instead, force yourself to stay on track by 86-ing your "fat pants."
3. Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat That Walks on Four Legs More Than Once a Week
Meat that comes from an animal with 4 legs is higher in saturated fat (the unhealthy kind) than that which comes from 2-legged animals such as chickens, or animals with no legs, like fish. Plus: women who eat large amounts of red meat more than once a week have a 50% higher chance of dying from heart disease and have higher cancer rates.
4. Thou Shalt Not Graze
Plan your meal before you open the refrigerator, get what you need, and close the door. Opening it throughout the day leads to impulsive choices and overeating.
5. Thou Shalt Not Eat After 7:30pm
When you eat late at night you are more likely to be eating in front of the TV (when you won't pay attention to how much you're putting in your mouth) and you're more likely to pick high-calorie snacks.
6. Thou Shalt Not Pile Food More than 1 Inch High or Within 2 Inches of the Plate Edge
Larger portions equal more calories. 'Nuff said.
7. Thou Shalt Not Chew Food Less than 20 Times per Bite
Chewing allows your body to realize that you are eating food, prompting it to create a sensation of fullness at the appropriate time. When you don't chew enough, you get ahead of that process, eating well past when you are actually satisfied.
8. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Plate
Spend your day nibbling bites on someone else's sandwich or afternoon snack, and you will add on 1,000 calories easy.
9. Thou Shalt Not Carry Small Bills
Nothing loves a small bill better than a vending machine. When you have them at the ready, you are one step closer to an impulsive, calorie-loaded afternoon slip up.
10. Thou Shalt Not Eat While Standing Up
Eating sitting down enables you to be aware of what you're eating and eat it slowly so that your body can tell you you're full before it's too late.
Now, live long and prosper. Or something.
If Bill Clinton was Moses, he would have come down with the Ten Suggestions. ~ Bill Maher
Leslie J. Ansley is an award-winning journalist and entrepreneur who blogs daily for TheRoot. She lives in Raleigh, NC.