It’s Official: The White House Is a Flaming-Hot Dumpster Fire That Shows No Signs of Cooling Down

H.R.McMaster may be the next White House official to be shown the door.
H.R.McMaster may be the next White House official to be shown the door.
Photo: Sebastian Widmann (Getty Images)

The White House has been trash since the pristine Obamas left it to a KFC-eating mass of bagged afterbirth. Since he took office, the White House has been reshuffling the staff like it was dealt a hand with no spades. To date, the Trump administration has lost over a dozen notable members.


Earlier this week, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the prototype for every evil soap opera oil baron ever created, learned over Twitter that his services were no longer needed. On Friday, several news outlets have been reporting that national security adviser Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster will be shown the door Uncle Phil style.

According to CNN, the move has been delayed as the president searches for McMaster’s replacement, but the news of McMaster’s firing could come sometime Friday.

Of course, because the folks at the White House can’t stand that news hits the press before they release it, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Huckabee, took to Twitter to note that reports of McMaster’s potential firing is fake news:

Just spoke to @POTUS and Gen. H.R. McMaster - contrary to reports they have a good working relationship and there are no changes at the NSC.

CNN notes that because the president doesn’t hate McMaster—looking at you, Tillerson—the president has been delaying the national security adviser’s firing until he could secure his next move.


News of McMaster’s imminent firing comes just days after the president noted that he was getting close to putting the Cabinet he wants in place.

“I’m really at a point where we’re getting very close to having the Cabinet and other things that I want,” Donald Trump told reporters on the South Lawn of the White House on Tuesday, moments after announcing Tillerson’s firing, CNN reports.


The new station also notes that the three-star general has loaded his résumé to LinkedIn and has been searching for jobs as a Telly Savalas impersonator. We have no idea what McMaster does, but he most likely won’t be missed.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Dinosaurs and Nachos, Very Legal and Very Cool!

This guy has been in office for a year and some change and he STILL doesn’t even have a Cabinet he likes. That’s like......that’s some shit you are supposed to have figured out before you even get sworn in.

You know what, though? I’m surprisingly at peace* with this. Let him fuck around for his remaining 2 and whatever years (if Mueller doesn’t get him first), doing all the work he should have done during his transition period.

Let this lazy fuck continue to be a lazy fuck. That’s okay with me. Keep him distracted from worse ideas.

*I am at peace with nothing. I just have to prioritize my rage blackouts and panic attacks, you know?