Illustration for article titled I Wish I Could Have Back All the Naps I Didn’t Take as a Child
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Twitter tells me that Monday, the day after we did the whole “spring forward” thing for daylight saving time, is #NationalNappingDay.


It’s a funny coincidence, because the one thing I could definitely use right now is a freaking nap. I’m so serious.

I am surviving off of three hours of sleep through no fault of my own, and it is taking everything in me to power through and get my work done.

Remember when we were kids and our parents wanted us to take naps but we always hated it and stayed awake the entire time?


I wish I could have all those naps back right now.

I’m sorry, naps.


I’m sorry I treated you the way I treat guys I am uninterested in: like a bother and an imposition on my time.

I’m sorry I did not take advantage of your generosity when I had the opportunity. My parents had to force you upon me when I was younger. These days? Let’s just say that if napping were an Olympic sport, I would be a repeat gold medalist time and time again.


I am now the nap champion.

And honey? I can nap anywhere.


Watch me put these earbuds in, tune out everyone on the airplane and catch a few hours of sleep as I fly across country for work.

Oh, we’re in a car full of people on a road trip? Watch me make sure at least one person is keeping the driver company while I lean my head against this window and catch these winks.


I’m so sincere.

Naps—I wasn’t always kind to you, but I want you to know that I am an older, wiser and better person now.


I’m deserving of your love and your presence in my life.


I need you.

Please stay with me, naps. Forever and ever.

You will never go out of style, and I will always choose you over most things, like going out with my friends, cleaning up my apartment and going grocery shopping.


You the real MVP.

I love you.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.

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