I just got a notification on my phone that Amazon delivered one of the three packages I have coming to me from my latest order, and the package delivered today contains the thing that is going to make this fall season all the more better for me.
Save your judgment. I have already been ridiculed in Slack by coworkers such as Michael Harriot (my fellow staff writer) and Corey Townsend (our social media editor) who take great delight in referring to it as “the devil’s butt plug” whenever I bring it up.
Fuck those guys. Candy corn is delicious.
It’s made of honey. It’s chewy when it’s fresh. It’s just the right amount of sweetness, and just a handful will satisfy that sweet tooth for a long time after.
People go up against candy corn all the time. They talk trash about it. They belittle people who eat it. Go look at my Twitter mentions, and you will see me being harassed about my love for candy corn almost daily when this time of year comes around.
I don’t care.
I love candy corn, and I will eat it loudly and proudly forever. I make this same five-pound order every single year from Amazon, and the candy lasts me until Christmas or New Years at least.
I don’t put it out in a candy dish because it comes in a resealable bag, and that is good enough for me. I didn’t plan on sharing it anyway.
You can talk all the trash you want, but just know that candy corn is great, and it is made even greater if you mix it with salty peanuts. Then it tastes just like a Payday candy bar.
Anyway, I just wrote this to say that I love candy corn, but also to beat Michael—who is off today—to the punch because he said he was going to write a post about how horrible candy corn is.
Haha. I won.