In the Black community, there’s a repeating saying that’s pretty hard to miss: sons get coddled by their moms, daughters get coached to be smart and resourceful. Boys grow up swaddled in affection, while girls are pushed toward responsibility and resilience. That double standard doesn’t just shape childhood — it spills into adulthood, fueling tension in dating, relationships, and family dynamics. And it’s exactly why the Prime series, “The Girlfriend” hits a raw nerve, resembling the uneasy experience Black women know all too well.
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This psychological thriller has Black women in a chokehold for more reasons than one. Beneath the suspense lies a story many instantly recognize: the grown man still wrapped up in his mother’s approval while the woman he’s dating is left navigating her place in his world. Laura, the controlling mom, who hovers over every decision her son makes and refuses to let him fully step into adulthood. And Cherry, the girlfriend, who must navigate the minefield of a man still emotionally tethered to his mother while trying to carve out her place in his life. And at this point, even Black men can admit there’s an issue.
Mind you, this awkward struggle isn’t limited to romantic relationships—it also fuels a level of resentment for sisters. If you’re a girl who has brothers, you know you had to hit those dishes, clean your room, gather your laundry, get straight A’s (or else), and don’t even think about asking for a day off from school, even if your health was in the trenches. Meanwhile, your brothers came home after the street lights came on, never followed rules, and still can’t clean dishes till this very day (in some cases). Now, you might be thinking, “They grow out of this eventually, right?” Well, there’s more to unpack in that area.
While men grow comfortable with “The Girlfriend” dynamic alongside their mothers, Black women often excel miles ahead of their counterparts. Many Black women have aced entrepreneurship, like Mz. Skittlez — celebrated by Forbes for her achievements — and excel academically, earning the majority of degrees within the Black population at every level, including Bachelor’s (64.1%), Master’s (71.5%), and Doctoral, medical, and dental degrees (65.9%), per the American Association of University Women. Not to mention, women take on the brunt of emotional labor in romance, which can be taxing.It’s not to say Black men aren’t achieving or putting in the work in school, but the numbers show a pattern: Black women have consistently been pushing boundaries and setting standards, often outpacing the men they grew up with in the very same household.
After watching the thrilling series, one fan said they “could never date a mama’s boy,” adding that the type of mother-son relationship depicted in the TV show was a “no” for her. “The mother kissed him on the lips? What? No!” she hollered.
“This show was a ride, chile!” a second fan on TikTok exclaimed. “Very vulnerable! Almost looking for a little bit of his mother in his lady,” she said of Daniel Sanderson, with a suspicious face.
In a trending video featuring Canadian physician, Dr. Gabor Maté, he describes why men expect women to mother them, and the host of Diary of a CEO, Steven, admitted to becoming frustrated when his partner didn’t “meet the needs” he had, a journey that essentially wore her down in the end.
“So what we’re actually demanding is that we can be children emotionally, and they be the mother who — without any effort on our part — will understand and see us,” Maté explained.
“The Girlfriend” is just a TV show. However, we can’t ignore the mirror reflecting a similar pattern in the Black community. When men grow up leaning on their mothers for emotional fulfillment, Black women are left to navigate adulthood, relationships, and family life. And until men fully step into their own independence, Black women will keep leading the way academically, professionally, and personally, while also managing the emotional labor that comes with being raised in a system that protects sons and challenges daughters.
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