Watching the latest headlines about Cardi B’s love life, it’s hard not to think about Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez. These are beautiful, wildly talented women who just can’t seem to get it right when it comes to men. If Cardi isn’t careful, she’s next in line for that club.
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OK. Let me back up and explain.
Over the weekend in Los Angeles, Cardi shocked fans mid-performance by announcing that her relationship with her newest baby daddy, Stefon Diggs, is officially over. Just like that. No slow fade. No PR rollout. Just done.
The split comes less than a year after they hard-launched their relationship courtside at a Knicks game last May. Before Diggs, there were seven years of turbulence with Offset.
For those keeping count, Cardi has four kids by two men. Not a red flag, but def a yellow one. And this is where Berry and J. Lo come back into the picture: Three marriages for Berry, four for Lopez. Add in the high-profile relationships and a pattern emerges.
When relationships fail, there is a tendency to blame the men. But we also have to take a long hard look at the women who choose to date and marry these men. One or two bad relationships? Maybe it’s the guy. But when a person has three or four bad marriages or relationships in a row…
Look, I’m not in the business of shaming folks; what you do with your life is your business. But looking at the behavior of people like Halle, J. Lo, Cardi and many others, it seems most people want to be happily in love. They just don’t know how to get there.
If you want to be happy in love but don’t know how to get there, pull up a chair. It’s time we had a talk. But be warned: You may not like everything I have to say.
Stop Falling for Potential and Start Dating Reality
If you are in high school or college, disregard this. If you are in your early 20s, pay attention but don’t make any changes. If you’re a grown ass woman, you need to pay this all your mind.
Many women fall in love with a man’s potential — “oh, only if he just got his sh*t together.” They see a man so much talent or charm and think their love can fix his character flaws. Nah.
Believe a man the first time he shows you who he is. If he’s inconsistent, unfaithful, or emotionally unavailable during the honeymoon phase, it will only get worse once you’re further down the road. Don’t buy a house that’s a fixer-upper. This isn’t HGTV and you ain’t no house flipper.
Identify Your Type and Then Run the Other Way
OK. Time for hard words. If every person you date has the same vibe but also the same set of issues, your type is setting you up for failure.
If you grew up on MC Lyte and love ruffnecks but those dudes keep breaking your heart — you need to do a 180.
Success in love often requires dating against your instincts. If you are drawn to excitement, try dating someone who feels boring at first. Stability often feels quiet; chaos can at times feel like chemistry.
Build a Life That Doesn’t Need a Man to be Complete
Too many women are afraid of being alone. And instead of being patient and finding new love, they simply jump from one relationship to another. That’s not choosing a partner…it’s filling a vacuum.
You have to get to a place where you are comfortable with the silence of an empty house. When you are comfortable being alone, your standards for who you allow into your life will skyrocket.
Love isn’t just about chemistry or vibes. It’s about making good choices. Cardi is talented. Halle is iconic. J. Lo is a legend. But none of that protected them from their bad decisions.
At some point you should stop asking “Why do I keep meeting the wrong men?” and start wondering “Why do I keep choosing them?”
The real glow-up isn’t another hard launch, another ring, or another fairytale rollout. It’s finding a love that lasts. Chose peace over passion, stability over spectacle, and character over charisma.
Don’t follow the lead of Cardi or Halle Berry. And for the love of God…don’t follow J. Lo.
Straight From 
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