Guard Your Two Piece

Though violent crime is up or down depending on the area you live in, criminals overall who find themselves hard up are getting more and more desperate.

Some have employed a little ingenuity in how they victimize us via cyber crime, which has consistently been on the rise for quite some time.

Those eventual jail birds not as computer savvy are returning to the same tried and true forms of theft. This week alone I’ve had two of my female friends tell me someone attempted to steal their purse.

A person in Los Angeles I know was pushed to the ground by a man attempting to snatch hers in broad daylight.

Another in New York was exiting the train and had to maintain the gripe of a body builder to keep her purse from being snatched away from a man trailing her.

Both managed to keep their belongings, but thankfully none of them were carrying a bag of Popeye’s. Who knows what might have happened if the theives smelled red beans and rice emanating from their bags.

This week a couple in Florida were jacked at gunpoint over their take out chicken.

Yes, I’m serious.

Authorities in Arlington, located in the Jacksonville, Florida area, say four men drove by several times in a burgundy Pontiac sedan yelling, “give us the chicken,” at a woman and her boyfriend.

Like most rationale people, the couple wrote those men off thinking they must be out of their rabbit minds driving by asking for some chicken and biscuits.

However, the men were dead serious and started to drive slowly behind the couple as they turned off their headlights.

Police say one of the passengers, armed with a shotgun, proceeded to get out of a car and yell, “You know what time it is. Give it up.”

They said the man then ordered the victim to put down the chicken, saying if she didn't she would be shot.

The gunman pointed the barrel of the gun at the woman, leading her boyfriend to beg and plead to spare her life. He told the man his girlfriend is two months pregnant.

Are we really robbing pregnant women for fried chicken, buttery biscuits, and Cajun fries now?

Seriously, who robs people for Popeye’s? Are times that hard? I know their slogan is “Love That Chicken,” but no one should love it to death.

I live in LA. I hope someone doesn't see me with Subway and attempt to stab me because they're doing the Get Fit Challenge.

Email me at therecessiondiaries@gmail.com. 

Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him on Twitter.