GTFOH Trump Watch: Wait, We Almost Bombed Iran?

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: Wait, We Almost Bombed Iran?
Photo: BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI (Getty Images)

Middle America’s bum-ass president reportedly asked about a military strike against Iran just last week, but held off after his advisers were like, “Slim, you tripping like shit.”


Now, all of the sudden, Trump cares about possible nuclear weapons being made in Tehran, which is convenient considering he’s on his way out of office. He probably thought that if he started a war he’d be able to remain in office until it was done, but America doesn’t work that way.

According to the New York Times, advisers had to explain to this dumbass personification of mediocre whiteness and blistering hate that bombing Iran would cause all kinds of craziness in the Middle East.

When the president didn’t understand, his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, explained, “Imagine your stomach is the Middle East and a bomb is a Popeyes chicken sandwich…” Everyone in the room relaxed as they could see the president beginning to understand the severity of the situation.

Citing anonymous sources, the Times said officials left the meeting with Trump “believing a missile attack inside Iran was off the table.”

Let’s hope that this remains this way.

Biden’s Got a Security Briefing Hookup

Think about this: President Trump is such an oddly shaped petty fuck that President-elect Joe Biden is receiving national security briefings from outside of the White House because these Russian operatives won’t give him the damn information.


According to the Washington Post, Biden is receiving national security briefings from experts outside the White House. Can you imagine if a lame-duck Democrat president was refusing to give national security briefings to the incoming president? Republicans’ heads would explode.

This shit is insane and embarrassing and a threat to national security but why would Trump care about that when he’s busy running around the White House throwing a full-on temper tantrum, claiming that the election was stolen from him with no proof! Not one shred of proof. Nothing.


Meanwhile, Joe Biden is moving right along with his plans for eviction. The Post notes that Biden is staying booked and busy and has plans to announce more senior staff members. He also urged Congress to pass an “economic relief package and warned that the coronavirus pandemic will worsen in the coming months.”

Look at the incoming president looking all presidential.

We see you, Joe!

Trump’s Fumbling the Pandemic Response, Again

Because the current president is a fat bag of orange sherbet extract and refusing to work with the rightly elected incoming president on the advancement of the Covid-19 vaccine, it led CNN to only one possible outcome: “an outgoing US commander in chief is actively working to sabotage his successor.”




Are you telling me that the pettiest president to ever president ****gasp**** doesn’t give a fuck about America or the American people?


I’m clutching my pearls and looking for my fainting couch.

From CNN:

Given the current national emergency, they threaten to cause practical fallout that could damage Biden’s incoming White House not just in a political sense. There are increasing concerns that Trump’s obstruction will slow and complicate the delivery of the vaccine that brings the tantalizing prospect of a return to normal life amid stunning news from trials showing doses are effective in stopping more than 90% of coronavirus infections.

The distribution operation will be a massively complex and historic public vaccination effort targeting hundreds of millions of Americans — many millions of whom have resisted following basic safety protocols like wearing masks because Trump has encouraged them not to. The inoculation campaign will require a high level of public trust and will involve sharp ethical debates among officials about who should get the vaccine first. The entire program could be damaged if it is politicized. But unless something changes, the Biden team may face the task of tackling those issues afresh, in a frantic catch-up operation.


And you know who doesn’t give AF? One guess…

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


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Not that I’m against the removal of Iran’s theocratic nightmare of a regime, but Trump’s hand would screw that up mightily.

It’s the one way things would get worse for the people of Iran.

And that’s saying something considering this post is about the regime that, after having crushed the non-violent Green Revolution with massive violence, then proceeded, in following years, to “cleanse” the population of many who hadn’t been killed in the bloody repression.