GTFOH Trump Watch: Just Because You Don’t Acknowledge It Doesn’t Mean It Ain’t So

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: Just Because You Don’t Acknowledge It Doesn’t Mean It Ain’t So
Photo: MANDEL NGAN (Getty Images)

I don’t think powerful white people understand how this works. And, maybe that is America’s fault. Maybe America didn’t do the hard work of teaching them that sometimes things won’t go their way. Sometimes the hero (both actual and perceived) loses. And sometimes, no matter how much of a temper tantrum they throw, they aren’t going to get anymore TV.

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It’s really been a joy to watch these grown people who believe that their voice is enough to stop a tidal wave. It’s kind of like my 3-year-old son who believes if he throws himself around the house, he won’t have to take a bath. I have no idea why he enjoys being dirty or why he hates all water inside the bathtub, but my job as a father is to gently show him that, try as he might, he still takes a bath before bed. Those are just the rules.

So as much as these powerful white people throw a temper tantrum all over America with their cries of “Biden ain’t my president,” guess what? You still have to take a bath.

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On Monday, West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice refused to acknowledge that Joe Biden won the presidential election, despite no evidence showing otherwise and the fact that the race was called for Biden.

“As far as acknowledging that the election is over, I do not do that,” said Justice, an ally of President Donald Trump, WPXI reports.

Justice did note that he’d be willing to support Biden after all legal challenges and potential recounts prove that Biden has, in fact, won the race. Umm, I don’t think Justice knows how this works. Biden doesn’t need his approval or acknowledgment to be president-elect, because in America...forget it, powerful whiteness is a hell of a drug or whatever Rick James said.

“If Joe Biden is truly our legally elected president of the United States, we should all celebrate and support him,” Justice said.

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He. Is.

Full stop.

Newsmax Is a Fake News Version of Fox News

Ever been to a dollar store? If you have then you, like myself, had to have been disappointed to learn that not everything in the store is actually a dollar. Like, some things are even five dollars. But no one is protesting outside of dollar stores claiming false advertising. We just all kind of accept that some things are a dollar and many things are not.

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Newsmax is like this. They claim to be news and even have news in the title, but alas they are really just a porn station for far-right wingnuts who can no longer bring themselves to masturbate to the stories on Fox News. NewsMax is so fake that even Fox News is like “Bitch, at least we aren’t Newsmax!”

Newsmax hasn’t declared Biden the president-elect and has been pushing the president’s crazy conspiracy theories. The president has even used Newsmax stories to trash Fox News. And the whole dustup feels like a smoked-out, meth-scented Florida motel room that I can’t stomach.

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Medical Deep State?

In Trumpworld, all things—the moon, the sun, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham—all revolve around Trump.

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On Monday, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced that an experimental coronavirus vaccine is more than 90 percent effective and this is great news, yes?

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Well, not if you live in Trumpworld. See, Trump wanted desperately to be the man who saved America from the coronavirus, and he could’ve been that hero had he just issued a mask mandate and followed social distancing protocols. Trump wanted a coronavirus vaccine, and not a vaccine that would help save lives (who gives a shit about that?); Trump wanted a vaccine before the election to save his presidency. Well, the vaccine was announced some six days after the election and Trump now believes it was the work of some medical “deep state” to keep him out of the White House.

From the Washington Post:

Shortly after Trump heard the news Monday, he demanded Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar “get to the bottom” of what happened with Pfizer, according to a senior White House official who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe the president’s actions.

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After the meeting and without evidence Trump tweeted:

“As I have long said, @Pfizer and the others would only announce a Vaccine after the Election, because they didn’t have the courage to do it before. Likewise, the @US_FDA should have announced it earlier, not for political purposes, but for saving lives!” Trump wrote. “The @US_FDA and the Democrats didn’t want to have me get a Vaccine WIN, prior to the election, so instead it came out five days later — As I’ve said all along!”

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I love how in the first half of his tweet, Trump claims that he didn’t want the vaccine announcement for political purposes but just wanted to save lives, and then in the second half of the tweet, he notes that everyone was working for him not to have a vaccine win before the election.

Which one is it, playboy? I swear y’all president stays mad about something.

Meanwhile, Pfizer doesn’t know what the fuck the president or sexless Mike Pence, who may or may not be the only white member of the Unsullied, is talking about.

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Trumpkins

We’ve not checked in on the Trump offspring in a minute, so maybe I can see what the powerful brood is up to.

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Eric is still sleeping in his day coffin.

Donald Jr. is face deep in a mound of white powder that surely is not cocaine.

Tiffany is posting Republican thirst traps (which are basically fully clothed photos near very expensive drapes) And it totally worked on Matt Gaetz, who tweeted some creepy-ass emojis at her.

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Does Nestor know what his “father” is out here doing?

Oh, and it looks like because Ivanka and Jared can’t follow COVID-19 safety protocols, their children have been removed from their school and placed in another learning environment.

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According to Business Insider, parents grew tired of the powerless couple not wearing masks and complained. I guess the opposite of Meghan and Harry decided that they’ve had enough and instead of just wearing fucking masks, they moved their children to another school. Kushner and Trump are reportedly Satan’s pick for homecoming couple.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

A writer I follow on Facebook posted a bunch of Tweets this morning from right wingers bemoaning how Fox is pandering to the left now and completely unfair and they’re all moving to NewsMax because they’re REAL NEWS!

Something something snowflakes something “safe spaces” something “real Americans”.