GTFOH Trump Watch: Even Mar-a-Lago Neighbors Don’t Want You

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: Even Mar-a-Lago Neighbors Don’t Want You
Photo: Al Drago (Getty Images)

Once the president and his family are dragged from the White House, they’ve got to live somewhere, and considering how bizarre and meth-infused the last four years have been, there is really only one place for the Trump crime family to settle: Florida.


Apparently, Melania is going to continue this whole act as if she’s really Trump’s wife and doesn’t have a full grown-ass boyfriend on the side, as she and the Secret Service have reportedly been looking at a Palm Beach, Fla., school for Barron. The school is some 40 minutes from Mar-a-Lago and costs a cool $35,000 a year.

But there is only one problem: the neighbors near his shitty-ass resort don’t want him there and legal agreements he signed years ago may give them their way.

According to the Washington Post, Trump converted Mar-a-Lago into a private club in 1993 because he was short on cash. In order to appease the neighbors, Trump agreed that no guest would spend more than 21 days a year at the club and no guest would stay longer than seven consecutive days. Oh, and Trump’s attorney promised that Trump would never live there.

“There’s absolutely no legal theory under which he can use that property as both a residence and a club,” Glenn Zeitz, a nearby Palm Beach homeowner, told the Post. “Basically he’s playing a dead hand.”

And get this, Trump even deeded development rights to the nonprofit National Trust for Historic Preservation, thereby giving up his rights to develop Mar-a-Lago or use it for “any purpose other than club use.”

Because Trump is a white man, I mean the president of the United States, Palm Beach has been lax about enforcing the agreement as Trump spent damn near most of his presidency either there or on the golf course.


So it looks like The Root isn’t the only one telling Trump to GTFOH.

Russia’s Been Watching America’s Netflix

Can we please stop acting like Russia is hacking anything when their best friend is in the White House? I mean seriously. If that is the case, I hacked my sister’s Netflix password before I finally caved in and got my own. I also hacked my mother’s phone number to use for my CVS rewards points.


So, while the president is running around crying about fantasy election scenarios in which he remains the president, he’s not said anything about reports that Russia “hacked” some of America’s “most deeply held secrets.”

According to the Associated Press, the months-long operation was so deep that it could take digital sleuths weeks, maybe even years, to figure out what was stolen. In some cases, we may never know what was viewed by Russian “hackers.”


From AP:

A U.S. investigation determined the height of the documents stolen — if printed out and piled up — would triple the height of the Washington Monument.

In this case “several Washington Monument piles of documents that they took from different government agencies is probably a realistic estimate,” Thomas Rid, a Johns Hopkins cyber conflict expert said. “How would they use that? They themselves most likely don’t know yet.”


You hear that? They stole CVS receipts of information and the president hasn’t said anything about his password being stolen. I mean, damn, at least act like you didn’t just give it up.

Mitch McConnell Congratulates Biden and All Hell Breaks Loose

There used to be a time when Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) could congratulate the president-elect on winning the election and that wouldn’t even be news. It would be, dare I say it, normal.


“Many of us hoped that the presidential election would yield a different result, but our system of government has processes to determine who will be sworn in on January 20. The electoral college has spoken,” McConnell said, the Washington Post reports. “So today, I want to congratulate President-elect Joe Biden. The president-elect is no stranger to the Senate. He’s devoted himself to public service for many years.”

But that was before Trump drew a line in the sand with Russian prostitute urine. McConnell congratulating Biden on his presidential win isn’t just an act of defiance against Trump’s fantasy coup, it is an official shunning of the president’s attempts to steal the election from the American people.


And you know that means that President Petty logged right into his Twitter account to do his best to shame McConnell.


He also added: “Mitch, 75,000,000 VOTES, a record for a sitting President (by a lot). Too soon to give up. Republican Party must finally learn to fight. People are angry!”

And, yet, Biden is still the president-elect, and President Trump is going to cry in the car as it leaves the White House on Jan. 20.


Oh, So You Just Going to Fire Err’body

President Trump only fucks with people who are loyal to him. And, by loyal, I mean those who are either willing to carry the lie or do his dirty work or both. White House counsel has had to warn the president several times that firing FBI Director Christopher Wray would make it too obvious that there’s a “loyalty test” inside the Trump administration.


From NBC News:

The lawyers, led by White House counsel Pat Cipollone, specifically said that firing Wray could spark legal issues similar to those raised after Trump ousted James Comey as FBI director in 2017 in the midst of the Russia investigation, the officials said.

Their concern was that firing Wray could be seen as retaliation because the president has publicly pressured him to take specific actions on certain investigations — such as announcing a probe into President-elect Joe Biden’s son — and then expressed frustration that Wray has not followed his suggestions.


Trump’s just throwing himself around because he lost the election and anybody can get it. Hell, even Evil Fred Flintstone Face Attorney General Bill Barr was fired resigned Monday.

I hope that Trump understands that firing people doesn’t get America any closer to wanting him to serve a second term.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


kidelo (i have a tiktok)

Once again, The Biggest Loser has fucked his own damn self. Those people in Palm Beach HAAAAAATE him! He has tried to outmaneuver every rule and zone and law, and folk there are just sick of him. Oh, and the traffic and nonsense that follows him is hated even more.

He can’t legally live at Mar-a-Lago and keep it a club. The fact that it’s a private club is in itself a concession Orange-ina made when the locals wouldn’t let him turn Mar-a-Lago into a hotel. That’s why there’s a time limit for guests, which include the Trump family.

I like to think of Trump as a modern day L. Ron Hubbard, living on a brokedown boat and sailing from port to port in order to avoid arrest.