GTFOH Trump Watch: And Just Like That, the Devil Is Gone

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: And Just Like That, the Devil Is Gone
Photo: Sarah Silbiger (Getty Images)

If you have a moment to take, take it.

We survived. We survived the racism, the xenophobia, the disrespect, the insensitivity, the negative rhetoric, the divisiveness, the homophobia.

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We survived beyond the wall, the migrant children in cages, the good people on both sides, the chaos, the blatant cheating on America with Russia, the mayonnaise-slathered insurrection, the coronavirus.

So take a moment to reflect. Good prevailed. Virtue prevailed. Morality prevailed.

We are alive. Breathe that in.

Our limbs still work. Shake those shits.

Prayers have been answered, so thank your God.

Early Wednesday, Air Force One lifted off for the last time with President Donald Trump aboard taking him to his evil lair, Mar-a-Lago, in Florida and later today, President-elect Joe Biden will be sworn in and Donald Trump will lose all of his presidential powers and just be a bitchass old retiree living in the vilest state in America.

Because Trump is the kind of bitch-made president that he is, he couldn’t stand to take his one-term presidency, in which he will be remembered as the worst president in American history, like a man and left before Biden’s inauguration, and no one cares. In fact, he couldn’t leave fast enough.

Shortly before bouncing, Trump told a small crowd on the White House lawn that “It has been a great honor, the honor of a lifetime.”

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The couple then hoped their racist asses onto Marine One and skipped over to Joint Base Andrews, where he had some kind of departure ceremony, which included some rock songs or whatever racism does during their rallies, and then he hopped on Air Force One as Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” played.

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Trump reportedly left a note for Biden, which was a tradition started by President Ronald Reagan in 1989, but no one knows what it says because it looked as if it was stained with human urine.

Meanwhile, there are moving trucks all around the White House.

“They basically have the moving trucks waiting outside the White House gates,” said Matt Costello, a historian at the White House Historical Association, told the Associated Press. “And as soon as the president and president-elect leave, they wave in the moving trucks, and they’ll pack up the outgoing president’s things, and then they’ll unpack all of the new first family’s things.”

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Things unfolded a bit differently this year since the outgoing president is a spoiled bitch, so his shit has been packed.

And in the end, we will mourn those that we lost to the ineptitude of white supremacy. We will remember the marches and the smell of tear gas, and the stink of racism and xenophobia that will never wash off. We will point to the insurrection and the cuddling of terrorists as they stormed the U.S. Capitol. And hopefully, we will have more to say than we survived.

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But right now, that feels like enough.

Trump’s Pardons

You know Trump had to fuck some shit up before he left office. And while Trump didn’t pardon himself or his family, which was widely speculated, he did pardon his onetime political strategist, a former top fundraiser, Steve Bannon and Lil Wayne. Rapper Kodak Black, and disgraced former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick both received commutations.

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From CNN:

The batch of 73 pardons and 70 commutations issued in the final hours of his presidency was expected, and is in keeping with a long-standing presidential tradition of exercising clemency powers at the last minute.

The list reflected a President keen on awarding pardons to his stalwart allies, an unusual number of whom have been swept up in corruption or lying charges.

The vast majority of the pardons and commutations on Trump’s list were doled out to individuals whose cases have been championed by criminal justice reform advocates, including people serving lengthy sentences for low-level offenses.

But several controversial names do appear, including Steve Bannon, who has pleaded not guilty to charges he defrauded donors in a “We Build the Wall” online fundraising campaign. Trump had spent the past days deliberating over a pardon for the man who helped him win the presidency in 2016 and followed him to the White House. During his final hours in office there was a frantic debate underway behind the scenes on whether to grant Bannon a pardon.

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What’s proved to be more shocking than the commutation of Kwame Kilpatrick’s sentence, who was convicted of federal charges including racketeering, extortion and the filing of false tax returns, was that Trump reportedly took the advice of his shadow counsel Diamond and Silk, who pushed for Kilpatrick’s release. Who knew that Diamond and Silk welded such political power.

The Inauguration of Joe Biden

A live look at Joe Biden walking into the White House:

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

DISCUSSION

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GenderRevealOrdnanceDisposal

I dont plan on clicking any content about this man after today.

I know he stirs the internet with a big spoon and keeps the ad revenue flowing. I expect you and many other bloggers to seek that revenue and am not bothered. I just wont participate from tomorrow forward.

Maybe when he dies. I'll come for that party.