I’m poor—as in broke. As in “I ain’t got it.”
So my splurging is limited to a quarter tank of gas, a half-dozen chicken wings, and whatever socks are left in the clearance aisle at Target. But if I was ballin’, not only would I treat myself to the new Polaris Slingshot—because clearly, I deserve, dammit—but I’d also make it rain ticket stubs from Michael Jordan’s debut game. Why? Because apparently, they’re worth some serious bread.
The highest-graded ticket stub (bestowed with a grade of EX-MT 6 from Professional Sports Authenticator, or PSA) from Michael Jordan’s NBA debut sold for $264,000 at auction, breaking the record for most expensive collectable sports ticket ever sold.
I don’t know what the hell EX-MT 6 even means, but goddamn. According to Google Translate, it’s Kardashian for “a lot of damn money.”
Also of interest is the fact that the sale, which was conducted by Huggins & Scott Auctions, includes a 20 percent buyer’s premium—which doesn’t sound nearly as excruciating as Ticketmaster’s incessant fees, but hurts just enough to make you keel over and scream in anguish. But even without that premium, apparently the sale still would’ve crushed the previous record, which was set in October when a ticket stub from Game 3 of the 1903 World Series was sold for a meager $175,000.
The winner of the auction has yet to reveal themselves, but I’m sure super-collector Andrew Goldberg has something to say about it. In a July profile with the New York Times, the 47-year-old nonprofit consultant revealed that his collection includes 1,264 ticket stubs from Jordan’s regular-season, playoff, and NBA All-Star Games.
“I don’t know if anyone can dispute the claim that I may have the largest Michael Jordan ticket stub collection in the world,” he told the Times.
Maybe not, but do you have his most expensive ticket stub?
Huh? Do you?
For those wondering, Jordan’s NBA debut occurred on Oct. 26, 1984, at Chicago Stadium, which was demolished in 1995. In that game, he dropped 16 points and gave fans a small glimpse of what was to come.
Considering ticket stubs are worth so much, I should probably start saving them instead of throwing them away like a dumb ass. So I’ll catch y’all in about 20 years when I cash out these tickets from Petey Pablo’s sold-out “Still Freek-a-Leaking” stadium tour.