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What the fuck is a “mike”?* Please read this, 53 percent of white women who voted against your own self-interest to elect this man. Also, what is this thing that he always does when he just claims that ratings are tanking?

The president of the United States is a bratty, spoiled child whom no one can control or correct, and that should be scary for all of us. I think the base requirement of a sitting elected official should be spelling. You can’t even get out of third grade if your spelling game is not at grade level. Parents will have to conference with teachers, school administrators will be brought in to discuss specialized lesson plans, and yet the president of the United States is not at grade level, and no one thinks this is a problem.

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I mean, it isn’t like Puerto Rico has drinking water, or raging wildfires aren’t killing people in California—but yes, let’s wade into the waters of a sportscaster’s suspension because why not? It isn’t as if Trump knows what the hell else is going on.

I’m convinced that the president tweets petty shit every morning because that’s where he’s safe, like a kid in class who doesn’t get long division, but he’s got games on his phone.

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I hate this man.

* It’s been pointed out to me that “mike” is actually how some people spell “microphone” because ... wypipo.