It turns out that this whole “fake news” thing may all come from the walls of Donald Trump’s golf clubs.
The Washington Post reports that at least four Trump Golf clubs have featured a photo of a Time magazine cover. Dated March 1, 2009, the image features a stern-looking Trump looking as if he’s either trying to squeeze out a very girthy turd or struggling to contain his vagina-grabbing urges from exploding to the surface. There is only one problem:
Obviously created by someone close to Trump, aside from the telltale discrepancies, including a thinner border around the cover, the fake magazine cover uses exclamation points, because ... Trump. Kerry Chyka, a spokesperson for Time, told the Post, “I can confirm that this is not a real Time cover.”
Despite the suspiciousness of the fictional cover, the wall art hangs at the Trump golf resort in Doral, Fla., as well as at his course in Turnberry, Scotland; Doonberg, Ireland; and Loudon County, Va.
Instead of a fake decoration, we have a few suggestions that might spice up the walls at Trump’s 17 golf resorts:
- That painting of Tupac, Biggie, Jesus, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr.
- A Constitution smeared with feces—since he’s figuratively doing it anyway;
- That big fan that every black woman had in her first apartment;
- A poster-sized photo of my brand-new nephew, Kason. I’m serious, y’all, he’s adorable!
- A copy of the nude picture of Vladimir Putin that Trump masturbates to on Tuesdays and Thursdays;
- Dogs playing poker;
- Melania Trump’s nudes;
- This disturbing close-up of Trump’s hair:
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Despite the fact that everyone knows the cover is fake, no one has blamed any members of Trump’s family or Trump administration officials.
Y’all know those motherfuckers don’t know how to use Photoshop.
Read more at the Washington Post.