OK, who are we kidding? We all voted for Joe Biden for three reasons: First, he wasn’t Donald Trump, and I’m thoroughly convinced that if a piece of sock lint had run against the white supremacist in chief, we all would’ve changed our Twitter avis to “Vote Sock Lint 2020!”
Secondly, he teamed up with Kamala Harris, and since Black women are the backbone of America, there was no way they weren’t voting for an HBCU grad who wears Chucks and listens to Tupac. Thirdly, and this may be the most important line item here: He promised us, those of us who are working poor, a $2,000 stimulus check more affectionately known as a stimmy.
But we still needed a lot of things to happen and most of it had to do with Georgia superhero Stacey Abrams being able to turn the Southern state of Georgia blue.
It all happened. All of it. Biden won the election and Georgia elected two Democratic senators to give the incoming president control a Democratic congress.
To paraphrase Shaolin philosopher Ol’ Dirty Bastard: “Gimme my stimmy!”
Below is everything we know (per the Washington Post):
Biden is not playing. He is serious-serious about running us our money and has been reportedly working on a coronavirus relief plan (read stimmy), which he plans to implement as soon as he’s done fumigating the White House and getting the KFC smell out of the curtains because you know no AKA woman is going to work in a place that smells like inferior chicken.
Oh, and the new news is that Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) and Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.) are pushing Biden to include their “Baby Bonds,” which would give every American child a bank account seeded with $1,000 that they could access at age 18. As they’ve noted in the past, it may be the quickest way to close the racial wealth gap.
According to the Washington Post, Biden’s aides have already been floating pieces of his proposed stimmy package around to make sure the plan has bipartisan support.
From the Post:
The proposal, which Biden intends to unveil on Thursday, is expected to include $2,000 stimulus payments, an extension of enhanced unemployment insurance, money for vaccine distribution and delivery, funding for cities, states, schools, child care and more.
Transition officials indicated in meetings with Democratic staffers that Biden will try to get bipartisan support for the measure, instead of using a special budgetary tool that could allow him to push legislation through Congress with only Democratic votes, according to several people with knowledge of the discussions who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the deliberations were private.
See, Biden is already on some fuckshit. The incoming president is coming in after an insurrection and on the heels of a possible second impeachment of arguably the worst president in the history of America, who had the backing of Republicans far and wide, who he now wants to reach across the aisle. Fuck them. Push the stimmy down their throats but I digress...back into dogging Biden’s ass. Sike, I digress for real.
But let’s look at what working with these infidels means: Trying to accommodate their bullshit fiscal responsibilities, you know the fiscal conservative shit that kicks in after they’ve padded their rich friends’ pockets (which means the package could be below $2 trillion). “Republicans are likely to balk at spending too much more after Congress has already devoted around $4 trillion to fighting the ravaging coronavirus pandemic and economic fallout,” the Post notes.
Which is why I say, resoundingly, fuck them. If Biden has executive power that allows him to bypass Republicans in Congress, he should use it. For too long Democrats have been the moderate party that’s always trying to avoid the fight. I say treat them the same way they treated us: Anyone remember how that whole Amy Coney Barrett rush to the Supreme Court thing worked out for the Dems? Biden has made clear that his first order of business is a coronavirus relief and economic stimulus package as soon as he takes office, but something tells me that Republicans are going to fight him tooth and nail, so why even bother dealing with them?
“It would be good to have Republicans on board, but we should spend not an inordinate amount of time testing Republican willingness to come on board,” said Sen. Brian Schatz (D-Hawaii), the Post reports. “It would be excellent if we can get a big bipartisan vote, but if that’s Plan A we’re going to have to move to Plan B pretty quickly if we can’t get the votes.”
I say make Plan B, Plan A and let’s just say we tried.