Either Trump’s Daddy Helped Him Dodge Draft or ‘Bone Spurs’ Is the Medical Diagnosis for Cowardice: Report

Photo: Win Mcnamee (Getty Images)

It is well-known that Donald Trump suffers from the debilitating disease bitchniccaitis, which prevents him from performing presidential duties such as firing his staff in person or standing up to Vladimir Putin. Because of his illness, it took him nearly two years to visit U.S. soldiers in a war zone, and a recent flare-up of the ailment made him the first president since 2002 to not visit the troops on Christmas, NBC reports.

And while President Trump has repeatedly said he was ready to serve during the Vietnam war, a new report by the New York Times may explain how he managed to obtain a medical deferment that kept him from being drafted.

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On Wednesday, the New York Times published an account of Elysa Braunstein, 56, and her sister, Sharon Kessel, 53. The two siblings revealed that their father, Dr. Larry Braunstein, was the New York City podiatrist who diagnosed Trump with bone spurs. The sisters say the diagnosis was a favor to Fred Trump, who was Braunstein’s landlord and Donald Trump’s father. According to Braunstein’s daughters, the physician rented office space in a Queens, N.Y., building owned by the elder Trump during the 1960s.

“I know it was a favor,” said Dr. Elysa Braunstein, noting that her father implied that Trump did not actually have the calcium deposits that indicate bone spurs. “But did he examine him? I don’t know.”

“What he got was access to Fred Trump,” she said, explaining that her father’s rent rarely increased. “If there was anything wrong in the building, my dad would call and Trump would take care of it immediately. That was the small favor that he got.”

It is important to note, however, that Braunstein’s diagnosis alone wouldn’t have summarily excused Trump from the draft. But the daughters say one of their father’s closest friends, their uncle Manny, may have also helped Trump acquire a deferment. Dr. Manny Weinsten was also a podiatrist who may have had ties with the draft board, as many physicians did at that time.

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Records show that Weinstein, who is deceased, moved into a building owned by Fred Trump the exact year Donald received his medical deferment, which is probably just a coincidence.

For years, Trump maintained he was not drafted because he just happened to have a high draft number. Then he said he had bone spurs, dismissing the notion that he dodged the draft.

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In all, Trump received five deferments for the Vietnam war. Four were for education and one was for medical reasons—bone spurs. Despite his handicap, Trump managed to play intramural squash, tennis and football.

He has also managed to play at least 154 rounds of golf as president and has visited a golf course about once every 4.5 days.

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If you know anyone affected by bitchniccaitis for more than four hours, please get them to a doctor immediately.

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About the author

Michael Harriot

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.