Kanye, you’ve officially fucked up.
On Thursday night, the “Good Life” rapper held the third listening event for his allegedly forthcoming studio album DONDA to much fanfare. The problem is that despite multiple listening events, the album is still nowhere to be found. So perhaps eager to capitalize on DONDA’s presumed stage fright, or to add yet another chapter to his simmering beef with Mr. Kardashian, Drake has grown impatient with the bullshit and has announced the release date to his heavily anticipated sixth studio album, Certified Lover Boy, in the most imaginative way possible.
On Friday morning, eagle-eyed sports fanatics noticed what looked like a live cyber hack during ESPN’s SportsCenter. As the picture glitches in and out, a mysterious figure bears a piece of cardboard with a very specific message: “CLB September 3.”
If that’s not stellar marketing, I don’t know what is. While I have no desire whatsoever to hear this shit, I gotta admit this is pretty damn clever. It’s also incredibly savage—and genius—for a myriad of reasons:
1. Had DONDA dropped on Friday as planned (and I use that word loosely), Drake would’ve stolen his thunder by announcing the release date of his own album on the same day. That’s the level of petty I aspire to.
Safaveieh Shag 8x10 Area Rug
Cozy and soft on your feet
Get the shag rug in the ever-popular “millennial gray” or a multitude of other louder colors like navy, red, and gold.
2. By announcing his release date on September 3, Drake is forcing Kanye to either a) drop DONDA ASAP, whether it’s unfinished or not or b) drop DONDA during Labor Day weekend and risk colliding with Certified Lover Boy. (SPOILER WARNING: There isn’t a chance in hell Drake doesn’t embarrass the shit out of Kanye on the Billboard charts if they drop on the same day.)
3. If Kanye doesn’t put DONDA out ASAP, now he has to wait even longer to release the album should he decide to avoid putting it out on the 3rd entirely.
This takes the phrase “chess not checkers” to another level.
I personally think Kanye will opt for option No. 2 since the embarrassment of going head up with CLB would destroy his ego. And while he’s stupid, but he ain’t that stupid. So expect DONDA to drop sometime this weekend and Drake fans, your prayers have finally been answered. 6 God is on the way.