Illustration for article titled Dr. Fauci Wouldn’t Attend Trump’s Tulsa Rally, Even With a 6-Foot Pole (I’m Paraphrasing)
Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

I know that President Trump is a white man and that has afforded him luxuries and special powers that have allowed him to be the most mediocre of white men alive. He even parlayed that all the way to the highest office in the land, but acting like the coronavirus doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away—no matter how magical your whiteness is.

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In just days, Trump is set to have his followers—some 19,000 of them—packed into an arena in Tulsa, Okla., for the first “Keep America Great” rally since COVID-19 came through and crushed the buildings.

I believe the event is Saturday; I mean, do you really want me to look up the date? Are you planning on attending? Why are you reading this? How did you get here? This is not my beautiful house?!

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Fine. I do know that the event will be held inside, which goes against everything that the coronavirus instructors have told us, at someplace called the BOK Center, and Tulsa health officials and community leaders are super concerned. First, the virus is still very much out here running around like an early 1990s Suge Knight; secondly, I don’t know if the Trump administration is aware of this, but the nation is currently experiencing a national uprising over black lives taken by the overly aggressive policing of people of color. To his credit, Trump did move his rally from Juneteenth to who-fucking-knows-when because he didn’t want the wrath of God to fall on Tulsa for having his white power rally on the same day slaves were freed.

A group of Tulsa residents and business owners tried to stop Trump and the Trumpettes from holding their event by seeking a temporary injunction against the company that manages the BOK Center “to protect against a substantial, imminent, and deadly risk to the community,” a lawsuit stated, but a judge denied the request, the Washington Post notes.

But there will be one person notably absent from the white-tivities and that’s Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, the nation’s top infectious-disease expert—which should speak volumes, but you know Trump ain’t listening.

When the Daily Beast asked if Dr. Fauci would be attending the rally, the good doctor responded: “Bitch, are you trippin’? Fuck I look like?”

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Fine. Fauci actually said, “No. I’m in a high-risk category. Personally, I would not. Of course not.” The 79-year-old added that in the case of Trump’s rallies “outside is better than inside, no crowd is better than [a] crowd” and a “crowd is better than [a] big crowd.”

Admittedly, no one knows if Fauci was even asked to attend and whether or not he had khakis and his own government-issued tiki torch.

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I’m currently not fucking with Dr. Fauci after learning that the Trump administration didn’t tell the public to wear masks when the coronavirus hit because they didn’t want to feel the strain of a shortage of PPE.

“[We] were concerned that it was at a time when personal protective equipment, including the N95 masks and the surgical masks, were in very short supply,” Fauci told The Street.

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According to the Hill, “By early April, the Strategic National Stockpile had been depleted, and around the same time President Trump invoked the Defense Production Act to have manufacturing chains across the U.S. focus on making vital medical equipment such as ventilators and masks.”

Dr. Fauci added that the Trump administration wanted to give front line workers and emergency personnel the opportunity to get masks.

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“We wanted to make sure that the people, namely the health care workers, who were brave enough to put themselves in harm’s way, to take care of people who you know were infected with the coronavirus and the danger of them getting infected,” Fauci concluded.

Yeah, but that was at the expense of American lives. So yeah, I’m cool on Dr. Fauci, even if I understand the thinking.

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But back to Trump’s bootleg-ass rally; get this shit: Those who attend have to agree that they won’t sue should they contract the coronavirus.

“By clicking register below, you are acknowledging that an inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people are present,” the campaign website says on the RSVP page for the rally, CBS News reports.

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“By attending the Rally, you and any guests voluntarily assume all risks related to exposure to COVID-19 and agree not to hold Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.; BOK Center; ASM Global; or any of their affiliates, directors, officers, employees, agents, contractors, or volunteers liable for any illness or injury.”

So yeah, good luck with your rally, white people. With your rallying ass.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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