Donald Trump Jr. Speaks Rapidly Before Debate; Twitter Wants to Know If He’s on Coke

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Tuesday was a big day for the Trump family—and no, the family wasn’t going to meet Melania’s boyfriend. “Big Donald,” as they call him at the Hair Cuttery, was heading into his first presidential debate against Joe Biden and Donald Trump Jr. couldn’t contain his excitement.


Either that or “Not Ivanka”—as they call him around the Trump house–was hopped up on coke.

Lil’ Donnie, as they call him nowhere, made the rounds on three major networks, and while I’m not a coke-ologist, anyone who has been around someone smacked on coke will tell you they know the signs.

My man Donnie Brasco, as they call him inside the Russian police department, was doing that fast coke-talk thing, and if he were wearing an open-collar shirt, I would have sworn that Disco Donnie, as they call him in the Bando, was a 1970s pimp.

“I’m not so worried about the two hours of debate or the 90-minute debate, I’m worried about the other 22 hours of the day where Joe seems to struggle, where he’s on a Teleprompter,” he ranted on ABC News. “I mean, he hasn’t had to campaign in the same way.”

“I know people, honestly, George, running for first-grade class president that have spent more time campaigning than Joe Biden has for president of the United States,” the president’s son continued. “When you have a mainstream media that will sort of let him get away with that, to not answer questions, you know, so that’s difficult.”

He added: “So I think Joe Biden should do fine. He’s been doing this for a very, very long time. This should be his happy place. So, we’ll see what happens.”

That nigga spittin.

Twitter, obviously, had a lot to say about Don EFX rapping with his “Bum-stiggedy-bum-stiggedy-bum…” head-ass.


Because Trump has proven himself to be a trash can who paints his skin with garbage truck juice, during Tuesday’s debate against challenger Joe Biden, he mentioned Biden’s son Hunter’s reported coke problem.

Which is funny because, well, Don.

I didn’t know that MSNBC’s Chris Hayes and John Legend play basketball together, but Hayes sure threw him a nice alley-oop on Twitter:


To which Legend replied:


Looks like Don Don da Con is really behind the 8-ball now.



Let’s all vote to make sure the drug of choice for the entire Trump crime cartel becomes toilet wine.

I literally bumped in to Chris Hayes in a store near me. I was surprised how tall he is. Might be a good pick-up center.