Domestic Abuse Among Black Folks

Illustration for article titled Domestic Abuse Among Black Folks

I'm sure you've noticed domestic abuse has dominated the news lately.  In People Magazine Chris Brown claimed Oprah made an unfair jab at him on one of her domestic abuse-centered segments.  You know, after Chris went over to Africa for Oprah and sang at her school.  Oprah responded and said thanks for the song, but hitting Rihanna was crazy.   Yesterday, writer and Facebook-friend Tayari Jones posted an update about a 22-year-old black man in Brooklyn who dragged his wife through the street and shot her while dozens looked on.  The wife allegedly implored the gawking pedestrians to help her.  Nobody did until the husband dragged her into the middle of mid-day traffic.


It makes me wanna throw up both my hands and insist men and women take a break from each other.  Take a breather and find some alone time.  Now I know women are looking for her Denzel and biological clocks are ticking and men want to get married as long as they can watch ESPN 24-7, blah blah.  Sounds like a bunch of recycled hoopla.  Folks, there's a big ol' elephant in the room.  I call it:  the lack of self-love and insane coupling expectation.  Don't get wrong, a brother supports marriage or unions or… sleepovers.  But can folks spend a little time with themselves and face their crazy head-on before dragging somebody else into the madness?  I can write a three-volume book on the number of folks I know who will knock over the grannies to be "in a relationship" and then a year later somebody's cheating, screaming, hitting or completely unhappy.

I'm certain I'll be a dusty artifact one day.  The guy who sought self-love and self-empowerment rather than self-validation [or power] through a relationship.  But, for now, I'm alive and kicking and I think men and women need a time-out.  I think men and women need to start singles counseling in the FIFTH GRADE.  I think men and women should live apart for a CENTURY and then reunite for some healthy whatever.  I'm being a bit ridiculous, I know. But it's the only thing I can do to keep from screaming about the amount of violence and unhappiness and selfish expectation in this institution called modern relationships.

Anybody else have any thoughts?

Keith Josef Adkins is an award-winning playwright, screenwriter and social commentator.