Dallas Cowboys Finally Put a Ring On It, Reach Four-Year, $160 Million Deal With Dak Prescott

Illustration for article titled Dallas Cowboys Finally Put a Ring On It, Reach Four-Year, $160 Million Deal With Dak Prescott
Photo: Tom Pennington (Getty Images)

Outside of Dak Prescott, there’s probably nobody more relieved that the exhausting soap opera between Dallas Cowboys and their polarizing two-time Pro Bowler is finally over than my Black ass.

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For what seems like an eternity, Prescott and the Cowboys have been ensnared in a prolonged lover’s quarrel in which team president, general manager, and diabolical plantation owner Jerry Jones would tell anyone who would listen that Dak was the love of his life, yet adamantly refused to put a ring on it. In short, Jones expected Dak to cook up a mean steak and wash his draws every night, but Dak couldn’t even get flowers on Valentine’s Day—or a Birkin bag for Christmas.

Basically, “Jerruh” was a fuck boy who relished in treating his star quarterback like a fuck buddy, even though they were Facebook official.

But it’s a new day, dammit, and finally—finally—I don’t have to hear or read about their dysfunctional situationship anymore! Literally every single day, for what feels like eons, there have been non-stop articles and sports segments and group chats and barbershop talk about whether or not the Cowboys should re-sign Dak. And for the most part, opinions were split down the middle.

Those in favor of re-signing Dak pointed to the fact that when healthy, he’s never had a losing season (they’re also 42-27 when he starts) while anchoring the Dallas Cowboys. There’s also the fact that good quarterbacks are about as difficult to find as your homeboy when he owes you money, and even if you aren’t completely sold on Rayne Dakota Prescott—don’t come for me, his momma named him that—quarterbacks come at a premium. So why balk over the price tag when you know good and damn well another team would happily cut that check?

Those who opposed bringing back Dak point to the fact that he’s good, not great, and paying him great quarterback money will hamstring the Cowboys for eternity. And if they’re mediocre at best on a good day now, how can they ever expect to become Super Bowl contenders with him hogging up all of the goddamn cap space? A new deal would make Patrick Mahomes the only quarterback in the entire league making more money than him. Is Dak worth Patrick Mahomes money? The same Patrick Mahomes that just played in back-to-back Super Bowls while Dak has exactly one playoff win (and only two playoff appearances) in five seasons?

There’s also the fact that when Dak went down with a nasty, season-ending ankle injury in the fifth week of the 2020 season, he was playing out of his mind and leading the league in passing yardage, buuuuuut the Cowboys had only won a single game. Plus will he be the same player after such a gruesome injury? Especially taking into consideration that Ezekial Elliot looked like Trent Richardson this past season, their once-menacing offensive line has eroded, and please don’t get me started on that terrible-ass defense—or the coaching staff.

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But outside opinions are officially null and void now that Jones and Dak have rebuked the franchise tag and eloped to the tune of a brand spanking new four-year, $160 million pact, according to ESPN. The former Offensive Rookie of the Year will also collect a hefty $66 million signing bonus, the highest in league history.

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That’s a nice chunk of change, and Dak had plenty of supporters who took to social media to celebrate on his behalf:

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Look, I love to see Black men getting money, even if I despise their employer. But the Cowboys are staring a world of hurt in the face in the very near future after the ink dries on this new deal.

From Bleacher Report:

According to Spotrac, Dallas now has the league’s second-highest-paid quarterback, tied-for-second-highest-paid running back (Elliott), fourth-highest-paid wide receiver (Amari Cooper), three of the league’s 40 highest-paid offensive linemen (Zack Martin, Tyron Smith and La’el Collins) and one of the NFL’s six highest-paid defensive players (DeMarcus Lawrence).

Ten percent of the 31 NFL players making $20 million per year or more reside on the Dallas roster.

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All this for a team that finished 6-10 last season and likely wouldn’t have been much better had Dak played.

Get your money, Black man. Because it might be all you have to play for if the Cowboys can’t figure out how to build a competent team around you due to your massive salary.

Menace to supremacy. Founder of Extraordinary Ideas and co-host and producer of The Extraordinary Negroes podcast. Impatiently waiting for y'all to stop putting sugar in grits.

DISCUSSION

Dr Emilio Lizardo

March 6th: Texas Utility Board decides that those huge utility bills must be paid in full.

March 8th: Comstock Energy owner Jerry Jones agrees to pay Dak Prescott.

That’s not a lot of dots to connect.