Screenshot: TMJ

An 18-year-old Wisconsin man was detained by police officers, handcuffed and placed in a squad car for questioning after authorities were alerted to a black man robbing two older white women from the back seat of the white women’s car.

He was coming home from church with his grandmother and her friend.

According to the Journal-Sentinel, Wauwatosa, Wis. police chief Brian Zalewski said an officer was flagged down by an African American couple. The do-gooders pointed to a blue Lexus with a black man riding in the back seat while two older women were riding in the front. According to the couple, it was obvious that someone was either filming a reverse remake of Driving Miss Daisy, or there was a robbery in progress.

Police video footage show the officers stopping the car with their guns drawn. The passenger, 18-year old Akil Carter, exited the car with his hands in the air and got on his knees where law enforcement officers handcuffed him out of camera range. The cops then placed Carter in the back of a squad car for further questioning.

Meanwhile, the officer explained to the grandmother: “Some guy comes up to me, says there are two black guys robbing a lady.”

“Well, I’m telling you this is my grandson,” grandma Lexus explains. “And this is my best friend who has known him since he was a baby!”

The officer who questioned Carter explained that there was an apparent “misunderstanding based on somebody’s perception.” Meanwhile, the grandmother expressed her feelings about the incident on police video.

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“I’m sure he (the person who reported it) saw two white ladies in a car with a black kid and he made some assumptions,” the grandmother says. When informed that it was actually a black couple who made the robbery report, “Well that’s even worse!” the grandmother proclaims.

Carter was detained and questioned for six minutes and allowed to leave. But I am sure everyone reading this has a few more questions:

How can we be sure it was his grandmother?

Because Akil is 18. When you’re 18, the only person who can wake you up early and get you to go to church early on a Sunday morning is your grandmother.

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I bet they were playing that dry-ass white gospel music in the car where they enunciate all the words and sing to pipe organs, while Akil was listening to God’s Property in his earbuds.

That’s probably why they stopped the car. Kirk Franklin probably hyped Akil up and he screamed: “Oh, yeah! I’m with Grandma Rebecca and we ain’t going nowhere!”

It’s easy to see how someone mistook that for aggression.

How can we be sure it was a black couple who reported the incident?

That’s what they say, but I’m skeptical of the claim. Even though I might possibly be willing to believe that there are black people in Wisconsin, it’s hard for me to believe there are two, not to mention two black people willing to call the cops on another black person which would bring the total to three.

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C’mon son. There are so few black people in Wisconsin, the Green Bay Packers had a white wide receiver. I’m not buying it.

Why was Akil dressed like that? 

Looking at Akil’s church outfit (soccer jersey and gym shorts) I’m guessing they went to a white church.

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Although people point to racism and police brutality, I have always believed that the biggest white privilege is white church. They don’t even have to dress up for church! If a white person wears a polo to worship service it means it’s a special service, like pastors anniversary or something important where the choir marches in.

I’m not even sure if white choirs march in, because every time I hear white choirs, it sounds like everyone is trying to sing soprano and they don’t memorize the words, they read the songs out of hymnals. It’s like they don’t even put any effort into their praise!

Also, if they don’t have to learn the words, what do they do at choir rehearsal?

Are you sure it was a white church?

After conducting our own thorough investigation that simply involved looking at the police video, the traffic stop took place at noon. Black people don’t even get out of church until 2:30 at the earliest! And that’s just the benediction! If you’re with your grandmother you know you have to wait for her to talk to the usher board and shake the pastor’s hand.

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We can safely conclude it was a white church.