You may be confused about how a video of Rosen committing a crime is excluded from his “past good work” and the fact that he was fired doesn’t undermine the gobbledygook about his intelligence level, and how he will most assuredly conform to policies in the future. Perhaps you don’t understand how—unless Rosen tripped and fell on Anderson’s head—he didn’t “intend to injure” him. But you’re not a legal scholar, and you’re forgetting the important legal precedent set in the historic Supreme Court case Police v. Every Black Person Ever, when the court issued a majority opinion that read in part:

“White people can do whatever they want.”

Yes, Goldberg excused the headstomper (which is different from a “hotstepper”) by explaining how Rosen was a very good police officer when he wasn’t doing the Electric Slide across black men’s skulls, and how he was pretty sure Rosen wouldn’t do it anymore because he only did it once, and that shouldn’t count.


Rosen will undergo intense training for not stomping on people’s noggins before returning to work to terrorize the citizens of Columbus. He will also receive a reduced punishment equivalent to three days of suspension without pay. He will eventually return to smashing faces in the same neighborhood his original incident took place.

Meanwhile, according to the Columbus Dispatch, Demarco Anderson, who apparently decided to attack the bottom of Zachary Rosen’s shoe with his face, still faces pending charges.