Two pharmaceutical corporations announced they are working on a revolutionary breakthrough that could be more acclaimed than pockets on a sundress. Not since one of the ancestors combined corn and bread has a combination been so anticipated. It could be the most important scientific achievement in chemistry since 1922, when Nobel Prize nominee Edwin Perkins (yes, I nominate him every year) formulated the most important chemical compound in the twentieth century by combining Kool and Aid.
Moderna, the company whose COVID vaccine is more effective against the Delta Variant than Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson or Joe Rogan’s Rear Naked COVID Choke and Horse Dewormer, has announced that they are working on a new one-shot formula that provides protection from COVID-19 and influenza.
“Today we are announcing the first step in our novel respiratory vaccine program with the development of a single dose vaccine that combines a booster against COVID-19 and a booster against flu,” Moderna CEO Stéphane Bancel told investors at the company’s annual research and development day.
While the proposed vaccine is not expected to be available by this year’s flu season, the formula could be taken yearly in one dose to serve as a booster to defend against the deadly coronavirus as well as the flu. The company said it is part of the way through clinical trials of the current formulation for patients who are over 12 years of age, as well as a separate trial for children six months to 12, NBC reports.
Also on Thursday, pharmaceutical giant Norvavax announced it is working on a similar vaccine, and is halfway through clinical trials on its single-shot COVID-Nanoflu vaccine that will protect against COVID and influenza.
Although none of the major medical companies have announced a vaccine that offers 5G reception and refrigerator magnet properties, people are still hoping to hear an announcement from a dungeon-based laboratory in Atlanta, praying that researchers Antwon André Patton and André Lauren Benjamin will once again combine Out and Kast.
Meanwhile, my grandmother still insists that no chemical trials are needed for the blood of Jesus.