Chris Brown's Hoes Ain't Loyal, But Everybody Else Seems To Be

Chris Brown (Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images)
Chris Brown (Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images)

Can I be real with you all for a second? Like, can I kick it?

Yes you can.


I effin' love Chris Brown's song "Loyal". This song has managed to worm its way into Panama's favorite songs of all time in the history of ever list along with songs by Donny Hathaway, Keith Sweat, and Led Zeppelin. In fact, of all the music I've ever heard there are two songs I wish I was responsible for: Psapp's "Cosy In The Rocket" (aka the Grey's Anatomy theme song) and "These Hoes Ain't Loyal".


But this song got me to thinking about exactly why Chris Brown stays winning. The boy hasn't seen an altercation he didn't want to be apart of. I've said it before (I'm too lazy to look up where), but if you're out somewhere and you see a chair fly through a window, it doesn't mean that Chris Brown threw it. But if Chris Brown is present, he also can't be ruled out as a suspect. We all know he needs a better team around him of pretty much everybody who has a job. I'd never take a job as his PR agent or publicist. I'd want no parts of that (almost literal) ticking time bomb.

And yet, musically, my man continues to drop hit after hit after hit. Which, yes Virginia, is a pun. I should let that go. But he's got a good ear for music that will continue to resonate with his audience and, in that realm, he manages to remain both relevant and relatively embraced. Sure we crack jokes, but Breezy hasn't been blackballed or blacklisted. He's still around. He was in Think Like A Man. He's been in movies when he's not in somebody's jail or on somebody's road picking up trash. And to some degree, after what he has done and been through, I find it partially amazing. I know we love a good redemption story, but damn.

(Sidenote: Y'all remember the Mimi-Niko secks tape? That fire has completely died out huh? I'm watching LHH:ATL while Niko was plotting some sort of pr0n takeover. Seems like they capitalized as much as they could off of it. Also, LHH has reached epic levels of non-sense these past two episodes.)

But this all goes back to the R. Kelly mode of making it. And something that I think only male artists can truly recover from: as long as you make music people love, you can get away with anything. I realize this isn't anything new, but when I find myself getting so hype and listening to a song whose actual title includes the word "hoes" and "loyal" I think to myself…

…what a a wonderful world.

But I wonder…could a woman artist really recover from a public shaming? Have there been any female artists (can I say female in this context without it being sexist? Real question) who have gone through a shaming and have managed to make it back to stardom? I know we tend to let men get away with a lot more than women. And yes that's a loaded statement; but I also don't think its untrue.


Funny enough, I can't think of a single women artist who has truly lost her damn mind…wait….

…Lauryn Hill. But even there she reverted unto herself and had a nervous breakdown…then ridiculed the Pope and the Catholic church, but who hasn't done that?


I guess without examples I'm just throwing darts in the dark, but I do wonder about this stuff from time to time. Aaliyah managed to make it past her marriage to R. Kelly at age 15 but I'd swear that her family made that entire episode pretty much disappear. She bounced back but that's because we just never talked about it AND she was around before social media. I'm not sure if that stuff happened today, she'd be able to recover. Meanwhile, I'm in my house crip-walkin' to Chris Brown who can do no wrong in my eyes. Even his euro-trash song "Forever" was damn near perfect. Also, in a bit of "holy f*ck I'm old"…do you all realize that Chris Brown first hit the scene in 2005?

That's right. Chris Brown has been in our lives for nearly 10 years at this point.


Either way, I want you all to know that I love "Loyal" because I need to be able to move on. This is my admission. It's not even a guilty pleasure because I feel no guilt. I want you to know so that you can be happy as I am. It's harmonically perfect. It's topically wonderous.

It's ratchet and the gentleman at the same time. And it seems like Chris Brown is the only one making music good enough to get you to look past his past. Along with his f*cksh*t mentor, R. Kelly who has started to fade into obscurity.


Sharing is caring.

These hoes ain't loyal…but Panama is for the children.

See? Loyal.

So what do you think? How has Chris Brown managed to stay winning? Is it just the music??


What happen? How it happen?

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.