Can Someone in the White House Run and Get the KFC Bucket off the Old Fool’s Head? He’s Recklessly Tweeting Again

Illustration for article titled Can Someone in the White House Run and Get the KFC Bucket off the Old Fool’s Head? He’s Recklessly Tweeting Again
Photo: Joe Raedle (Getty Images)

President Krusty Fried Cuckold—wait, did you see what I did there? KFC?

OK, let me start over. Donald Trump is recklessly tweeting again, and he’s using all caps and throwing his weight around. Somehow, someone inside the White House left the child lock off of his phone, and I guess during his morning session of Lite-Brite, which he plays for 20-45 minutes during presidential potty time, the president stumbled into the Twitter app and began pounding his little fingers on the phone’s tiny keyboard.


All of this came after former Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens’ Tuesday op-ed in the New York Times, which stated that the Second Amendment was archaic and that protesters should challenge it.

“A concern that a national standing army might pose a threat to the security of the separate states led to the adoption of that amendment,” Stevens wrote, adding, “today that concern is a relic of the 18th century.”

President Narcissist Racist Asshat (did you see what I did there? Oh, come on! The initials of his made-up name spell “NRA,” which shows that he’s in bed ... you know what? Forget it!) not only wants to continue cuddling his firearms at night—he also wants his voters to believe that the coloreds are coming to take their guns!

That’s the purpose of his all-caps tweeting. Everyone who didn’t vote for this man knows that a presidential all-caps tweet is the highest pitch of his racist dog whistle. It’s the note that really gets his voters upset and the point where they pay the most attention.

I know that this is hard for the president of the guys who wear Zubaz weightlifting pants with fanny packs to understand, but people in this country can have differing opinions, and yes, sometimes those opinions can go against the precious Constitution, which Trump notes reminds him a lot of his daughter.


At some point, someone in the White House is going to have to keep a better watch on the president during presidential potty time—his latest tweet is proof.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Rooo sez BISH PLZ

Yeah, Hottie Avenatti’s no idiot, so I’m sure he’s observed how frequently he incriminates himself when he does that and has been baiting him on tv in an effort to get him to do exactly that.

If this is about “well, the military’s going to pay for the wall because I couldn’t talk Mexico into it” – good luck for 45 with that too, because not only can I not imagine a single military family who would go for that, but for a bonus a Colonel and Medal of Honor winner got on television this morning and told Kristianne Welker that “the military doesn’t see immigration as a national security threat” (which amused me greatly for all sorts of reasons since it takes a whole gasbag full of wind out of the MAGASails).

Let him wreck himself.