President Krusty Fried Cuckold—wait, did you see what I did there? KFC?
OK, let me start over. Donald Trump is recklessly tweeting again, and he’s using all caps and throwing his weight around. Somehow, someone inside the White House left the child lock off of his phone, and I guess during his morning session of Lite-Brite, which he plays for 20-45 minutes during presidential potty time, the president stumbled into the Twitter app and began pounding his little fingers on the phone’s tiny keyboard.
All of this came after former Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens’ Tuesday op-ed in the New York Times, which stated that the Second Amendment was archaic and that protesters should challenge it.
“A concern that a national standing army might pose a threat to the security of the separate states led to the adoption of that amendment,” Stevens wrote, adding, “today that concern is a relic of the 18th century.”
President Narcissist Racist Asshat (did you see what I did there? Oh, come on! The initials of his made-up name spell “NRA,” which shows that he’s in bed ... you know what? Forget it!) not only wants to continue cuddling his firearms at night—he also wants his voters to believe that the coloreds are coming to take their guns!
That’s the purpose of his all-caps tweeting. Everyone who didn’t vote for this man knows that a presidential all-caps tweet is the highest pitch of his racist dog whistle. It’s the note that really gets his voters upset and the point where they pay the most attention.
I know that this is hard for the president of the guys who wear Zubaz weightlifting pants with fanny packs to understand, but people in this country can have differing opinions, and yes, sometimes those opinions can go against the precious Constitution, which Trump notes reminds him a lot of his daughter.
At some point, someone in the White House is going to have to keep a better watch on the president during presidential potty time—his latest tweet is proof.