Brett Kavanaugh Thinks Being a Virgin Means You Can’t Sexually Assault Anyone

Illustration for article titled Brett Kavanaugh Thinks Being a Virgin Means You Can’t Sexually Assault Anyone

If you were up for an appointment to the United States Supreme Court and a woman you knew as a teen in high school came forward to accuse you of sexual assault, would you dodge the very idea of an FBI investigation?


And if after the first investigation you thought you didn’t need, would you maybe reconsider when a second accuser comes forward—especially since you are presumably innocent—just on the strength that it could possibly clear your name?

Finally, when news of two more accusers surfaces—bringing the total count to four—do you tell your people you think the FBI investigation would be a good idea after all, or do you go on Fox News to make your case?

If you are Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, you pick door No. 3 and go on Fox News with your wife to put up a weak-looking united front and proclaim your innocence for all the people who watch Fox News—which mostly means Trump supporters who are already falling for your story anyway, so why are you on Fox News again?

In any case, some clips from the program—recorded and scheduled to air Monday evening—were posted online.

In the videos, Kavanaugh proclaims his innocence.

“What I know is the truth, and the truth is I’ve never sexually assaulted anyone,” he told Martha MacCallum.


Christine Blasey Ford has accused Kavanaugh of pinning her down, covering her mouth, and trying to remove her clothing at a high school house party in the 1980s.

Kavanaugh denies even being at the party.

“I was never at any such party,” he said. “The other people who alleged to be present have said they do not remember any such party. A woman who was present, another woman who was present who was Dr. Ford’s lifelong friend has said she doesn’t know me and never remembers being at a party with me at any time in her life.”


Kavanaugh said he is not “not questioning and have not questioned that perhaps Dr. Ford at some point in her life was sexually assaulted by someone at some place but what I know is I’ve never sexually assaulted anyone.”

But he also leans on the lamest excuse ever as to why he could not have possibly done any of the things he is accused of when he says, “We’re talking about allegations of sexual assault. I’ve never sexually assaulted anyone. I did not have sexual intercourse or anything close to sexual intercourse in high school or for many years thereafter.”


Sir. Not only is that not a guarantee that you have not sexually assaulted anyone, but why do you keep coming up with all the wrong excuses for someone who allegedly didn’t do anything?

Everything done in the dark is brought to light, as your granny would say—and Kavanaugh is sure to have his day soon.


It’s just odd that someone who is supposedly innocent keeps coming up with all these excuses for how it is impossible that he could have done what he is accused of instead of allowing an investigation to prove his innocence.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.



What does sex have to do with it?.. I’m really puzzled why he as a legal mind, is contorting the argument, and giving again, obvious falsehoods (and on national TV no less, even if it Fox).

I mean this just makes me question his legal abilities, ethics, and if he did do it.