'Breakin' 3: Olympic Boogaloo' Coming to a Summer Olympic Games Near You

Illustration for article titled Breakin 3: Olympic Boogaloo Coming to a Summer Olympic Games Near You
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Y’all. Listen. The 2024 Summer Olympics are about to be the greatest sporting event in history by virtue of the fact that breaking—competitive breakdancing—is officially an olympic sport.

According to CBS News, the sport is set to be among the final list of sports to be announced for the 2024 games. The inclusion is part of an ongoing effort by the International Olympic Committee to appeal to the youth and increase diversity within the games. The delayed-2020 Tokyo Games will see the debut of skateboarding, freestyle BMX and 3v3 basketball as part of this effort.

“It’s going to be great for breaking as it gives us more recognition as a sport,” British breakdancer Karam Singh told BBC Sport.

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The USA Breaking Committee previously told CBS Sports that they would be ready to go should they receive approval from the IOC. We’re talking rulebooks, a scoring system, and a process to ensure that only Olympic caliber athletes are out here doing the damn thing.

This is clearly great for the athletes who have worked their entire lives for their sport to be given this level of legitimacy. We love to see it, truly.

But y’all—

Do you know how good dance movies/TV shows/anime are about to get?

Man, fuck a couple g’s and a Lil’ Kim music video, how about winning an Olympic gold medal and getting them brand deals?! Imagine a group of inner city kids taking home the gold in honor of G-Baby/Lil’ Saint/whatever kid inevitably winds up dying to bring the team back together and motivate them to beat the Russians/Koreans/whoever is the rival crew in this made up movie we’re making?

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Sidenote on the Lil’ Saint link: That is literally the only time Prof. Oglevee appears in You Got Served and now that’s going to bug you too.

Actually, speaking of You Got Served, why not give it that Olympic legacy sequel? Omarion pop-locking at the Olympic games? Take my money, please.

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Hell, imagine the Netflix documentaries we’re going to get about dancers across the globe working to be the best?! The inevitable 30 for 30 about the first team to ever win the gold medal for breaking?! The anime of really cool, hyper-stylized dance teams freaking going Super Saiyan while doing a sick-ass headspin?!

ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING WHY THIS IS A GOOD THING FOR EVERYBODY, YET?!

Ahem. Sorry.

I just really like dance movies. I even saw Step Up: 3D in 3D.

All I’m saying is that while this is a great development for athletes in the sport, it’s even better for us who like to watch it in reality and fiction.

Jr Staff Writer @TheRoot. Watcher of wrestling, player of video games. Mr. Steal Your Disney+ Password.

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DISCUSSION

boredalway666
boredalways

When I first heard about this, my sincere first thought was how non-diverse the USNBT™️ (U.S. National Breakdancing Team) — sponsored by Bennigan’s — will be. And oddly, they might be a’ight. Now we just need Ozone, Kelly and Turbo to be honorary coaches at least.

Also, I feel we need Toni Basil as well. YES, THAT “MICKEY” Toni Basil!

You kill me, Joe. You’ve probably seen Step Up 6, too!