As marijuana becomes legal around the country, more-potent varieties are becoming available. You may think you have tried the good stuff, but have you tried the stab-your-mama-get-naked-and-think-you-can-fly strain they’re apparently selling in Wisconsin?
According to Fox 2 News, in Racine, Wis., a woman wandered into a Dollar Tree bloody and injured (which happens almost every Wednesday around lunchtime at the Dollar Tree). She had been stabbed multiple times and identified her son, Terrell Banks, as the suspect. Instead of using those cheap, Dollar Tree “Band-Aids,” someone wisely notified the authorities.
The woman alleged that she went to check on her 23-year-old son in his room when he just charged at her while holding an object in his hand. She thought that he was hitting her with a cellphone until she realized that he was actually stabbing her. As the mother tried to defend herself, her son stabbed her in the head and arms, side and eyes, at least nine times altogether.
Banks seemingly passed out, and his mother fled to the only place you can find coloring books, wrapping paper, kitchen utensils and peanut butter that looks a little too brown for my liking—the Dollar Tree.
When police found Banks, they said he was crying, naked and visibly upset. He told the cops that he had smoked a blunt just before the incident and had become paranoid. He said that when he tried to “meditate” away his high, he began to suspect that the next person he saw was going to rape him, so he grabbed a knife to protect himself.
After using the knife to prevent his mom from molesting him and taking away his innocence, Banks told authorities he ran to a nearby school and removed all of his clothing. While you might think this is the opposite of what someone would do if they were evading rapists, you probably didn’t know that Banks also told the cops that being naked would help him fly to the sun.
Banks was arrested and his bond was set at $25,000. Also, call me crazy, but I don’t believe that was marijuana Banks was smoking.