Black Twitter Explodes After Lakers Trade Me, You, Your Mama and Your Cousin, Too, for Anthony Davis

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The Los Angeles Lakers were either fleeced out of a roster of young ballers or gained a superstar in a blockbuster trade that landed Anthony Davis’ eyebrows in the City of Angels, much to the delight of Black Twitter and the dismay of Laker Haters.

ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reports that the Lakers reached an agreement that will send Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart and the number four overall pick in the upcoming NBA draft to the Lakers in exchange for the New Orleans Pelicans’ three-time All-NBA forward, Anthony Davis, according to league sources who probably spelled Adrian’s name wrong.

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LeBron James reportedly broke the news to Lonzo Ball via Facetime, even though Lonzo’s jump shot is more reminiscent of a Skype conversation over a six-year-old Android phone with a cracked screen. Sources say Ball, a Southern California native, was saddened by the news that he would be shooting airballs and throwing errant passes in New Orleans instead of California next season. Upon hearing about the trade, Lonzo’s father LaVar Ball, known for saying nonsense very confidently, sounded a little like Donald Trump warning America that the stock market would crash if you don’t vote for him.

Davis will join James, Kyle Kuzma and a bunch of guys named Derrick on an L.A. team that failed to make the playoffs this season. But now the iconic franchise has the two superstars they desperately need, with the chances of signing more during the free agency period that starts July 6; this may prompt many of California’s fairweather fans to abandon the Golden State Warriors’ bandwagon after its roster of sharpshooters sacrificed various tendons and ligaments during the NBA finals.

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Davis is regarded as one of the brightest stars in the NBA, averaging 25.9 points and 12 rebounds per game, placing him among league leaders in both categories. After Davis reportedly announced that he wanted to be traded, the Pelicans sat him for the latter part of the 2018-19 season, causing many to accuse the Pelicans of tanking the season for a draft pick. But the ploy apparently worked, as the Pelicans won the first pick in the 2019 draft, with which they will likely spend on Duke manchild Zion Williamson.

Of course, Black Twitter had jokes.

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When asked for comment, ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith yelled a string of unrelated big words very loud.

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Michael Harriot

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.