A brave superheroine busted up a nonexistent child trafficking ring on Sunday when she noticed a black man riding around with two white children in his car and alerted the authorities to a kidnapping in progress.
CBS 46 reports that a white woman who was temporarily working for the Avengers (which, it must be noted, was not fully staffed after half of its workforce disappeared in a tragic Thanos-related work accident) spotted Corey Lewis at a Marietta, Ga., Walmart.
The unnamed woman saw Lewis, who is black, suspiciously riding around with two non-black children. Although The Root cannot confirm whether or not the woman had been bitten by a racist spider when she was a child, that’s when her whitey senses kicked in.
SuperBecky immediately approached Lewis and asked him if the children were OK. When he replied that they were, the woman summoned her white privilege superpowers and asked if she could speak to the children herself. While people on the woman’s home planet of Krypton might be totally fine with letting their children talk to strangers, Lewis declined, citing an ancient African maxim: “I don’t even know you like that.”
Undeterred, our brave Blunderwoman followed Lewis to his home in an attempt to thwart his villainous plans. But before Lewis could take his captors to his secret super villain laboratory where he did evil experiments like season chicken, the woman called for reinforcements from the League of White Justice, also known as the Cobb County police.
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Lewis recorded the police interaction (because this ain’t Gotham, you never know) as he explained that he was simply babysitting the children. In the video, the 10- and 6-year-olds, seemingly unaware of this racism thing we speak of, told the police officer that they were fine and they were being watched by Lewis.
“He’s babysitting us,” the oldest child tells the officer. “And this lady started following us,” the girl explains as the cop repeatedly asks the children if they are OK.
Lewis told CBS 46 that he runs a mentoring program called “Inspired by Lewis,” which ironically inspired at least one woman to call the cops on him because the children exhibited no signs that they were in danger except for the fact that they were in the company of a Negro.
Although no one has identified the woman who called the cops, she is not thought to be hiding out in Wakanda.