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All the Worst White People Love Dave Chappelle's Sticks and Stones
It’s a device you’ll often see in comedies. A character enters a room that’s packed with people. There’s a meeting happening. Or perhaps a party. But just as the character begins to settle, he looks around and notices that the room is a completely different place than where he expected to be, and the audience…
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A Second-By-Second Recap of That Bizarre, Ridiculous and Utterly Perfect KOCO-TV 'Gorilla' Apology Video
0:08: The first shot you see is one of KOCO-TV morning anchors Alex Housden and Jason Hackett seated next to each other, with approximately six inches of space separating them. Housden looks frantic and harried like she just completed a seance for a whiteness Voltron that hasn’t yet arrived. Hackett looks like he’s waiting for…
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A Case for Why Jay-Z Should Forget About the NFL and Just Buy a Popeyes Franchise
Of the myriad possible metaphors for the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich craze of 2019—which is a thing I will tell my kids about when they ask how America voted for Donald Trump—my favorite is that the sandwich itself represents heaven. The line to wait for the sandwich? That’s life on Earth. Those who get their sandwiches…
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Poor People Are Already Financially Literate. They Just Need More Money
I don’t remember when exactly I first realized there was such a thing as class. I think I might have been 10 or 11, but I’m not certain. But even before I possessed the language to articulate class distinctions, I understood them. I knew where my family existed on that spectrum. I knew what where…
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Jay-Z Got Paid to Be the NFL’s Black Boyfriend
It begins the same way each time. Something with a hint of scattered racial flurries happens. Next comes a conversation about said thing, where (usually black) people articulate exactly why the racist thing was racist. And then either the (white) person accused of the act or a (white) person defending the accused will attempt to…
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A List of Really Small Words You Can Use to Sound Really Big Smart and Impress People
1. Apt 2. Heft 3. Wont 4. Stem 5. Ode 6. Tryst 7. Link 8. Rapt 9. Rage 10. Pose 11. Tact 12. Couth 13. Canon 14. Knotted 15. Snarl 16. Emote 17. Rigor 18. Ply 19. Hiss 20. Pivot 21. Verve 22. Grit 23. Tonic 24. Disrupt 25. Body (if black is used before…
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Guys, Um, It’s True: Popeyes Has the Best Fast Food Fried Chicken Sandwich and It Ain’t Even Close
So let’s just get this out of the way immediately. I’m a fan of sandwiches. I’m a fan of chicken that is cooked in preparation of me eating it. And I’m a fan of chicken that is fried before I eat it. Unfortunately, the marriage between these three is usually unsuccessful, as the fried chicken…
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So…Um, Did Rue Die?
I’m still processing some aspects of both Euphoria’s season finale and the entire completed season. (Namely, whether the show is actually good, or if I just enjoy it and think it is.) But one cemented detail is that Zendaya catapulted into the holy shit stratosphere of acting and talent and presence and range. Anything this…
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Can Someone Please Give Jason Whitlock a Hug or Invite Him to Brunch or Something?
Sentient Stacy Adams shoebox Jason Whitlock is trending again today, for the same reason that his name always appears on my timeline when it does. A popular black athlete said or did something moderately cool, and this act offended Whitlock’s sensibilities enough for him cast judgment on said athlete with the fury of 27 porkpie…
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A Case for Why You Should Wash Your Hands Before You Go to the Bathroom, Too
A few weeks ago, while my wife and I were kicking it with some friends at a Pirates game, the subject turned to toilets. Namely, public toilets. Specifically, which establishments in the Pittsburgh area had the nicest bathrooms—a valuable consideration if you have an emergency situation and can’t wait until you get home. Several places…
