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18-Year-Old Brandt Jean’s Hug of Amber Guyger Made Me Sick. But It Ain’t About Me, Though
The conversation about Brandt Jean’s hug of convicted murderer Amber Guyger has mostly cannibalized both the news of the (still surprising) conviction and the (not surprising at all) sentence. The image of the act is both explosive and saccharine; a molotov cocktail dipped in high fructose corn syrup. It’s impossible to see that and not…
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Facebook, Why the Fuck Do You Keep Putting These Spammy Fake News Sites at the Top of My Feed?
I don’t pretend to know the mechanics of how most things work. I don’t know why nutmeg matters so much when making french toast, how rainbows are always perfect arcs, or even how Travis Scott has become a megastar when the best parts of his rap albums are when Travis Scott is not rapping. But…
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I Just Binged Season 1 of Succession and It Feels Like I Was on a White People Safari
I don’t remember exactly what Kotaku staff editor Natalie Degraffinried said a month ago when attempting to convince me to watch Succession. But knowing Natalie, I’m certain it involved some combination of “these white people” and “wild.” What I do remember was that she was the fourth or fifth black person in the last two…
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NBA Players Who Would’ve Had Better Careers If They Had Megan Thee Stallion’s Vibranium-Enhanced Knees, Ranked
1. Chris Webber 2. Anfernee Hardaway 3. Bernard King 4. Brandon Roy 5. Yao Ming 6. Derrick Rose 7. Amar’e Stoudamire 8. Tim Hardaway 9. Gilbert Arenas 10. Baron Davis 11. DeMarcus Cousins 12. Allan Houston 13. Fat Lever 14. Danny Manning 15. Greg Oden 16. Shaun Livingston 17. Jamal Mashburn 18. Jonathan Bender 19.…
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Should Salads Be on Plates or in Bowls? (A Short Debate About a Dumb Thing People Do)
I eat salads often now, because I have transitioned to a phase of my life where I’m expected to eat them often, and I don’t want to subvert those expectations. I’m so immersed in salad culture, so attuned to the salad zeitgeist, that my affinity for leafy greens lightly fondled by zesty liquids precedes me.…
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Pittsburgh Is the Worst City in America for Black People. Here's How It Can Get Better
If you need an example of the level of danger Pittsburgh’s black population faces for just living in the city, drive down Centre Avenue, go through the Hill District and then North Oakland, and then stop once you find yourself in front of UPMC Shadyside. Park your car, get out, and survey the beautiful campus…
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Why The Pittsburgh Steelers Should Sign Colin Kaepernick
It was revealed late this morning that sentient house arrest anklet stuffed into an empty Iron City bottle Ben Roethlisberger needs surgery on his mysteriously injured elbow and will miss the rest of the NFL season. The Pittsburgh Steelers are dumpster juice this year—which is what tends to happen when you call losing your two…
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Joe Biden Appears to Be The Last Person to Realize That Joe Biden Will Never Be President
Between two and four times a week, I come home from whatever it is I was doing before, I change into gym-appropriate clothes, I stuff a four-year-old Gap Kids baby bag repurposed as a gym bag with a pair of Kyrie 5s, a knee brace, extra socks, and a T-shirt, and I make the drive…
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Cracker, Explained (In 450 Words!)
Really? What? This is what we’re doing today? A cracker explainer? In 2019? It is. And I’m as shocked as you are. Why Damon? Last week, it was reported that then-Los Angeles Raider Antonio Brown, during a heated argument, called Raiders general manager Mike Mayock a cracker. Then-Raider Antonio Brown? He’s not with them anymore?…
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Donald Trump, the President of the United States of America, Was Also Accused of Rape 3 Months Ago
There should be a word to describe the thing that happens when you have a new favorite word for a month or so and you become so enamored with it that you inject it into as many conversations as you can. For instance, right now that word for me is zeitgeist. I’ve always had a…
