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The Teddy Riley of Presidents Is Using Props at His Press Conferences to Rewrite History
On Sunday—partially because the president knows he’s losing and maybe because he has to battle Babyface—the Teddy Riley of presidents came with video footage cut and spliced to show only moments of New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo praising the federal government’s coronavirus response. Anyone who has a good set of eyes and doesn’t believe that…
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Disgraced Former Trump Attorney Michael Cohen to be Freed From Prison Early Because of the Coronavirus’ Proximity to His Valuable White Lungs
Brilliant comedian Chris Rock had this bit during his comedy special Bigger and Blacker in which he “joked” that there isn’t a white person in the room who would be willing to trade places with him and he’s rich. I know I’m paraphrasing here but, he explained that for even a downtrodden white person, it…
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Can Someone Get Ben Carson to Explain to Trump that Chinatown and China Aren’t The Same Thing?
I know it doesn’t look like Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson, is a really smart man, but I assure you that before falling into the sunken place, he was one the world’s most beloved neurosurgeons. He may have been the world’s only neurosurgeon. Seriously name another neurosurgeon without Googling. So I know…
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Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner Are Both Full of Shit
For some reason—maybe it’s proximity to the president, maybe it’s because Trump’s sons have been such a disappointment, maybe it’s because Trump just wants to see them win—both Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner have been forced down America’s throats. Think of them as America’s own bizarro version of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle if Prince…
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Trump Made Another Empty Threat. Something About Adjourning Congress, but Here’s Why He Can’t Do That Either
Trump does this thing when he’s losing, and the move isn’t sophisticated or even nuanced. Trump literally finds something else to complain about and it doesn’t even have to be a legitimate grievance; it just has to be something else. Anything else. So after getting laughed at and smacked around by America’s governors when Trump…
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IG Honey Steve Mnuchin Believes $1,200 Stimulus Check Should Last Americans 10 Weeks
Secretary of Treasury Steve Mnuchin’s wife Buffy, (OK, I don’t know her name but Buffy seems fitting for this post. Fine, her name is Louise Linton,) once flossed so hard on Instagram, she literally hashtagged all of her wildly expensive wears after a day trip with her man. “Great #daytrip to #Kentucky! #nicest #people #beautiful…
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Now This Asshole Wants His Name on the Stimulus Checks Because He Loves Himself and You Should, Too
It’s one thing to do something nice; it’s another thing to do something nice and then demand that you be acknowledged. But it’s a whole other thing to be the president of the people and send them the most minimal bailout you possibly can during a global pandemic and then hold that desperately needed money…
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Watch: Trump Blows His Toupee Because He Doesn’t Like Answering Questions During Press Briefings That He Continues to Host
Donald Trump is such a camera hog that he does his own press briefings. It’s a moment for the narcissist-in-chief to preen like a peacock. What he can’t stand is anyone who questions the image he wants projected to the people. You know who else is like this? Every dictator who has ever dictated. Unfortunately…
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Wisconsin Republicans Tried to Steal an Election and It Still Didn’t Work
Wisconsin Republicans, backed by the Supreme Court, gave voters an unenviable ultimatum: Go outside during a global pandemic, ignoring countrywide pleas of sheltering in place, to cast their votes or stay in the safety of their homes and not vote at all. It was a ploy by Republicans, who knew one thing: When voter turnout…
