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Trump: Yes, I Went Down Into the Bunker but I Was Just Checking the Food Rations for Hot Fries
When I was in elementary school and the bully was messing with me, I would do this thing where I would go to the office and say I had a stomachache. They would call my grandfather and he’d come pick me up. It wasn’t the smoothest move and it didn’t save me from getting picked…
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White-on-White Violence: Piers Morgan and Rudy Giuliani Engage in the Worst Verszuz Battle Ever
I don’t know what started it, and truthfully, I don’t care. But at some point during an interview between antifa and the Proud Boys, the mud started slinging, the wheels fell off the wagon and mayonnaise went flying everywhere. In what can only be called white-on-white violence, Piers Morgan and Rudy Giuliani got into a…
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NY Rep. Eliot Engel Caught on Hot Mic at George Floyd Press Conference: ‘If I Didn’t Have a Primary, I Wouldn’t Care’
This has been a rough time for politicians. Most of the time they can be their usual wicked selves and it doesn’t upset the way the wind blows, but that was before we all saw a Minneapolis cop kneel on a man’s neck until life was slowly and painfully drained from his body. Requiring politicians…
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Defense Secretary to Trump: Are You Bugging? We Aren’t Using the Military Against Protesters
For days, President Trump has been threatening to use military force to stop peaceful protesting in the name of George Floyd, whose life was taken by Minneapolis police while in their custody. On Wednesday, The Root was there to capture Defense Secretary Mark T. Esper reaction when asked about the military being used against American…
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From the Ashes of Mike Brown Protests, Ella Jones Becomes Ferguson’s 1st Black and 1st Woman Mayor
On August 9, it will have been six years since Mike Brown’s death. Some six years ago, Ferguson, Mo. became front-page news when white officer Darren Wilson shot and killed an 18-year-old unarmed teen. The stories would be conflicting, the narrative would be familiar and the nation was forced to pick a side. Black folks…
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Iowa Rep. Steve KKKing of Racism Loses Republican Primary
Steve King, the longtime member of the “I don’t understand how saying that whites are God’s favorite people is racist,” just had a house fall on him, but luckily, his shoes are just fine. The wicked witch of racism and a nine-term Republican congressman lost his primary to Republican state Sen. Randy Feenstra. According to…
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Oh, We Holding Up Bibles? Nancy Pelosi Holds the Good Book While Asking Trump to Become Healer-in-Chief
Not like this, Nancy Pelosi. Please, not like this. On Tuesday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), whose part-time job has been owning Trump, held a Bible while calling for Trump to stop the hate-speak and the combative tone he’s had since national protests calling for an end to police violence against black and brown people…
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Biden Comes for Trump’s Saggy Throat: 'I Won’t Traffic in Hate and Fear'—Unless It’s Trump, Because I Hate Him (OK, I’m Paraphrasing a Bit)
Former Vice President Joe Biden is tired of Trump’s hateful and divisive speech. He’s tired of Trump speaking out of both sides of his mouth, and he, like much of America who doesn’t believe that McDonald’s is a sustainable and healthy diet, is just tired of watching Trump grandstand just to grandstand. “When peaceful protesters…
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The Punk-Ass President Had Peaceful Protesters Tear-Gassed So He Wouldn’t Look Like a Bunker Bitch
President Archie Bunker (but more racist and less likable) heard all our jokes about him hiding as police clashed with protesters Friday night, so what did he do? He did the only respectable thing that a punk-ass president would do: he had peaceful protesters tear-gassed outside the White House so that he could walk the…
