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Joe Biden and Trump Face Off in To Mask or To Be ‘an Absolute Fool’
If Joe Biden could punch President Trump in the face and get away with it, he would. Not because the president deserves it (he totally does), but because Joe Biden just likes punching people in the face. It’s kind of his thing. Biden is the most threatening man left in the battle for president and…
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A Handmaid’s Tale About the Coronavirus: Why (Some) White People Want to Be Oppressed So Badly
I will never understand why some white people (notice I didn’t say “all white people,” so please don’t email me explaining how you don’t own a gun and how your name isn’t Karen) want to be oppressed to the point of taking up arms. Yet, here we are in 2020, the most underbidding Spades hand…
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Widower of Joe Scarborough Staffer Begs Twitter to Remove Trump’s Conspiracy Tweets Claiming His Wife Was Murdered
Trump will stop at nothing to berate his opponents. For weeks, he’s been engaging in white-on-white violence with the married hosts of Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski. For those who haven’t been up on the news, or for those who’ve been ignoring the news for their own mental health, let me give y’all…
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While the U.S. Nears 100,000 Coronavirus Deaths, Y’all's President Was Busy Golfing and Retweeting Racist, Sexist Trash
President Trump looks like a tube of toothpaste swallowed a walrus. And because he’s president, we are forced to see what he looks like in a golf shirt. And because he’s always fucking golfing, we are always forced to see it. Despite America’s slow death march to 100,000 COVID-19 related deaths, the president of people…
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We Need to Talk About Joe Biden’s The Breakfast Club Interview
This year’s election is going to be tough and it shouldn’t be, but now I’m fully accepting that America is either voting for a Russian-loving, sun-beaten orange Skittle or a soggy white sock with a black stripe and a Southern old white man blaccent. Let me start this by saying I’m voting for Joe Biden.…
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Trump Finally Dons Mask, Completes the Final Stage of Becoming Bane
President Trump is a senior citizen. The coronavirus hates senior citizens. One of the ways to prevent the spread of the coronavirus is to wear a mask. The president refuses to wear a mask—mostly because he’s a maverick, and by maverick, I mean asshole. But on Thursday, when the gray clouds collided and the city…
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Trump Ignores Michigan Attorney General, Refuses to Wear Mask While Touring Ford Plant, and We Know Why He Won’t
The Michigan attorney general doesn’t have time for Trump’s maskless fuckshit and told him that he has a “legal responsibility”—under state law—to wear a mask when he visits a Ford Motor Co. factory Thursday, or he should not come back to visit factories. “I ask that while you are on tour you respect the great…
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Trump’s Claimed at Least 6 Times That He’s Been Michigan’s ‘Man of the Year.’ There’s Only One Problem: The Award Doesn’t Exist
President Donald Trump is a liar. I can’t stress this fact strongly enough. If you are wondering when the president is lying, just look at his anus-shaped mouth and if it’s moving, well you have your answer. But the president’s current lie—and possibly his longest-running lie—is bizarre even for the president. On Thursday, Trump was…
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Karen From Fox News Comes for Symone Sanders and Instantly Wishes She Didn’t
Every now and then, Fox News likes to play dress up and act like it isn’t the president’s personal YouTube channel. During this time, the right-leaning news station likes to invite guests from the other side of the aisle to come on the air only to try and berate them in front of its audience.…
