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Trump Notwithstanding, Maine Gov. Paul LePage Might Be One of the Biggest Assholes in Politics
Paul LePage is the Tea Party Republican governor of Maine, and he might be one of the biggest assholes in politics. For those who forgot or may not remember, it was LePage who claimed that Maine’s heroin epidemic was spurred by guys named “D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty” who come to sell drugs and “impregnate a young…
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Doug Jones’ Gay Son’s Side Eye of Mike Pence Is for All of Us Who Didn’t Vote for Trump
The gay son of Alabama’s newest senator, Doug Jones, just gave Vice President Mike Pence a pretty mean side eye with one look—and in that moment, he captured everything that everyone has ever felt about this deplorable administration. On Wednesday, Jones was sworn in on the Senate floor and then participated in a mock swearing-in…
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Here’s Why Trump’s Lawyers Are Trying to Block Release of Fire and Fury Book
On Tuesday, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, which is reportedly the most intimate look at the president’s first year in office, is set to be released next week, and neither Donald Trump nor his lawyers are happy about it. In fact, Trump’s lawyers are fixing to prevent the book’s release entirely. The…
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Weed-Hating Jeff Sessions Crushes Obama-Era Policy That Ignored States Where Pot Is Legal
What happened to Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III that made him devoted to ruining the one pleasure that many of us have in this dismal administration? Did a weed-smoking teen with rolled-up sleeves and a souped-up Pontiac Thunderbird steal his girlfriend? Did a pot-smoking goon beat him up during a rowdy kegger at a Ku Klux…
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Paul Manafort Has Gone Full Denzel in Training Day: He’s Putting Cases on Everybody
Former Donald Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort has gone full Denzel Washington in Training Day, and he’s putting cases on all you bitches. Below is a clip of Manafort before he filed lawsuits against special counsel Robert Mueller, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and the Department of Justice: According to CNBC, Mueller is alleging that the…
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Witness: Robert Mueller’s Federal Grand Jury Looks Like Black Lives Matter Rally
So it turns out that special counsel Robert Mueller might be a secret Hotep who is an ally of the nation of Wakanda, as the supporters of President Donald Trump are tight after learning that Mueller’s grand jury has too many black people on it. Apparently, a Trump associate who testified told a New York…
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Eric Trump Might Be the Dumbest Trump Out of All the Trumps
It is difficult for me to type this because I know that the degree of stupidity inside the Trump family is as wide as the Sahara, but Eric Trump might be the dumbest Trump in the history of Trumps. I know, I know. But I come with receipts. On Tuesday, President Sterling von DickTweet’s second…
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Steve Bannon Is Spilling the Lipton, Claims 2016 Trump Tower Meeting With Russian Lawyer Was ‘Treasonous’
Steve Bannon, the former White House chief strategist with the skin of a rotten potato, is turning on President Donald Trump and his minions. For all of us who love a good fuss fight, The Guardian obtained an early copy of the new book Fire and Fury, by Michael Wolff, which includes hundreds of interviews,…
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Sen. Orrin Hatch Was Voted Into Congress the Same Year Atari 2600 Was Released; Now He’s Finally Set to Retire
Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, the longest-serving Senate Republican, is finally leaving Congress. He has announced that he won’t be seeking re-election at the end of this year. The 83-year-old Hatch has served since 1977, when the Atari 2600 was released and came with nine games and two joysticks and sold for $199. Hatch has been…
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According to a Google Glitch, LaVar Ball Founded the NBA
Basketball dad LaVar Ball is living his best 2018, and it’s only two days old. According to Google, he not only parlayed one potential star child and two mediocre talents into an empire but also invented the NBA. Yes, to hear Google tell it, Ball founded the NBA. For most of Tuesday morning, Google listed…

