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Bwahahaha, We Gonna Die, Y’all: Trump Claims He Sold Norway Planes That Exist Only in ‘Call of Duty’
The race for the worst president in American history is starting to look like no contest with a wide margin between the front-runner Donald Trump and the rest of the pack. During his visit alongside Norwegian Prime Minister Erna Solberg at the White House on Wednesday, Trump boasted about the sale and delivery of F-52…
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Trump Is an Idiot Who Didn’t Get an MBA From Wharton, Explained
Think about this: When President Donald Trump was a private citizen, he hated President Barack Obama so much that he regularly antagonized him on Twitter. In fact, one could argue that when Trump wasn’t eating KFC or killing a puppy with his tiny fingers, it was his part-time job to troll Obama on social media.…
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Members of the Congressional Black Caucus Will Honor Recy Taylor During Trump’s State of the Union
On Sept. 3, 1944, 24-year-old Recy Taylor and two friends were on their way home from a late-night church service in Abbeville, Ala., when a group of white men abducted and raped her. Taylor refused to stay silent about the assault. Two grand juries refused to bring charges against her attackers. Taylor, who died at…
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Well, This Is Awkward: Los Angeles Lakers No Longer Want Player After Learning of Herpes Lawsuit: Report
In life-comes-at-you-fast news, the Los Angeles Lakers have decided to pass on small forward Jamil Wilson after learning that the former NBA player was being sued for sexual battery for allegedly knowingly giving a woman herpes. According to TMZ Sports, the woman claims that she received herpes simplex 2 during a yearlong relationship with Wilson.…
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Obama Had Officials Pay for Their Own Makeup Before TV Appearances; Trump Has the Taxpayers Doing It
If you’ve ever wondered to yourself, “Who is the person who makes Kellyanne Conway look less like a corpse?” Or, “Who makes Sarah Huckabee Sanders look less like a goofy troll-like succubus?” Well, I have the answer: It’s the White House’s full-time hair and makeup artist, Katie Price. That’s right. President Donald Trump’s White House…
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Donald Trump Has an Intimate History With KFC, so I’m Looking Forward to the Results of His Physical This Week
President Donald Trump, who has a long history with KFC and McDonald’s, is scheduled to get his first medical checkup since becoming president, and this can’t be a good look for him. Doesn’t help that he may only be barely literate—I don’t say this as a diss; I know that being in the White House…
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If Trump Is Really About Saving DACA, Then He Shouldn’t Care That a Judge Ruled to Start the Program Back Up
On Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he would be willing to sign legislation that would allow children of illegal immigrants to stay in the country, which would effectively extend former President Barack Obama’s Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, known as DACA. A California federal judge apparently noticed the president’s change of heart on…
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5 Jobs for Sloppy Steve Bannon Now That He’s Out at Breitbart
Steve Bannon was once the darling of the “alt-right” and the White House. He was the white Umar Johnson and Tariq Nasheed for President Donald Trump’s run to the presidency, but then he got booted out of the Oval Office after several reported dustups with the president’s real daughter, Ivanka Trump, and his fake daughter,…
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Former Sheriff Joe Arpaio Is Proof That Racist White Men Stay Winning
Joe Arpaio, a former Arizona sheriff so racist that even when he was threatened with jail for unlawfully targeting and racially profiling Latinos in Arizona, he couldn’t stop and was eventually thrown in jail, is running for the U.S. Senate. That’s because equally deplorable President Donald Trump had him pardoned from prison, and now this…
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Trump Thinks He’d Beat Oprah in a 2020 Run for the White House
Looks like Donald Trump is continuing his lobotomy tour. First he asked members of Congress to bring him a Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals bill he can sign that would ensure that some 800,000 children of immigrants stay put; and now he honestly thinks that he could beat black America’s God Muva, Oprah Winfrey, in…
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